CanDoBetter.com - FOX Charlotte - Top Stories 032610.mp4

Dr. Dar says CanDoBetter.com promotes the shallowness of attraction by physical appearance alone. As evidenced by Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, 'He is Hot!'; hot does not make a long lasting marriage or relationship. In fact, HOT lends itself to jealousy, distrust, and insecurity in a relationship. CanDoBetter.com thinks that having your friends, family, and strangers vote to see if you can do better will provide a higher quantity of options for singles to consider. I disagree. There are way too many singles in the world who are already a) comparing themselves to attractive singles and not honoring their strengths and beauty b) have an unhealthy self image c) who feel isolated because of social or perceived pressure d) are afraid to date or put themselves out there for fear of what others will or may think and become stunted because of their fear of what others may think. In a society that values physical appearance causing major issues such as depression, social anxiety, performance anxiety, and even isolation due to feeling inadequate, I am not surprised at this website that is there to capitalize on social networking. Do it just for fun and nothing more.

Here is the Fox News Story:
CanDoBetter.com
Morgan Fogarty

Story Created: Mar 29, 2010 at 11:45 PM EDT

Story Updated: Mar 29, 2010 at 11:46 PM EDT
"Can she do better than him? Can he do better than her?" With the click of a mouse, you can tell users of a new website exactly that. You can even tell them if you think they're a "perfect match. People upload pics of themselves and pictures of the people they want to date, are dating, heck, people they're even married to, all because they want your opinion on their partner.

The site instantly tabulates the clicks and generates a percentage of people who think you or your partner could do better. Ouch. Local relationship expert Dr. Dar says it all leads to one thing: "You wanna invite Jerry Springer-like drama into your life, that's a sure way to do it."

17-year-old Jacki Day has heard "you can do better" before. She values that opinion from her friends and family, but strangers online judging only a picture? "You don't know anything about who they are as a person. It's just not something you should base on a person, she says.

Myers Park resident Caroline Skeates says, "I wouldn't really care what they think because they don't know me or the other person. And Nicolas Delgadillo says, "I guess overall, it's more important how you feel about them than what anyone else does, even if they are your friends."

The site creator says "We understand singles are searching for quality, not quantity and CanDoBetter.com increases the odds of finding a suitable dating partner." But Dr. Dar warns that users expecting to find "true love" on a relationship site should think again. "Single sites and match making sites and dating sites, they are not here to create sustainable, happy relationships. Their business is to find singles for singles and keep them single so they keep that business model going, she says.

By the way, CanDoBetter.com does more than let you judge other people's partners. You can also connect to them, too, if you think you're their perfect match.

Experts have one more concern about the impact of the site: it focuses solely on a person's appearance to determine so-called "compatibility. They say that pressure, especially amongst high school age users, could lead to Internet bullying or teen depression.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• candobetter.com
• social pressure
• friends and family
• teen depression
• body image
• dr. dar
• docdar.com

[DarshanaHawks]

Thanks for watching and subscribing. I wish you a happy holiday season filled with joy, harmony, success, and love!

Dr. Dar

[MichelleVasquez55]

Wow, Darshana! Congratulations on your TV appearance. You look great (and I'm not talking just about your appearance). You were poised and gave important information.