Morbid Major Magazine Song

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A musical list of the names of defunct magazines.

(To the tune of I Am a Very Model of A Modern Major General by Gilbert & Sullivan)
By Bill Dyszel
The many paper publications writers once were writing for
Have mostly disappeared and left a handful all are fighting for
They went by names like Mirabella, Cosmo Girl, and Living Well
Amazing Stories, Omni, and Organic Style and Mademoiselle
And Spirit of Aloha, which you may perchance have read in flight
And also Windows Sources, HomePC, Musician, Cue and Byte
And 7 Days and Audio, and Quick and Simple and Cachet
And, PC Magazine, but no understood that anyway.
When Budget Living says they're broke, you know conditions aren't so nice.
And don't forget Success, whose claim to fame is that they failed twice.
McCalls, Industry Standard, House & Garden all have gone away
And Rosie sank as fast and deep as Underwater USA.

When Country Journal, Harper's, Jewish Woman, Coronet and Mode
Have followed New Age Journal as they all were flushed down some commode
When Blueprints future plans have all been relegated to the past
And National Lampoon will surely not be who is laughing last.
When Women's Sports and Fitness, Golf for Women, Gusto, Sync and Spy
Are only sold along with Lifetime at that newsstand in the sky
All writers start to fear that their careers are headed for the drain
A lot like Talk and Child and Life and Look and Lear's and George and Jane.
The experts all are telling us that in our brave new century
There'll be new opportunities exciting and adventur-y
But to a freelance writer none of this may seem too funny,
Cause you know the next to go will close up shop and owe you money.

(Created for the 60 Anniversary of the American Society of Journalists and Authors)

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• magazines
• publishing
• G&S
• music
• singing
• parody

[bpkeane1]

Mad Magazine National Lampoon and High Times 1953-1981 R.I.P.

[cinemasolo]

@bpkeane1 Mad Magazine and Lampoon had some of the best song parodies ever. I wasn't a High Times reader - the world doesn't need me on drugs, as evidenced by my videos. Thanks for commenting!

[coloraturaLinda]

As a fellow freelance writer, I found this entertaining... but with a sad truth behind it all.

[cinemasolo]

Thanks for commenting. You're right - it's sad, especially for all the people who worked at those magazines. It's a really tough haul for them.

[bfwebster]

As a writer, I find this both very funny and very painful, which I'm sure was the intent. Great, great song and video. ..bruce..

[cinemasolo]

Thanks, it's definitely gallows humor. I wish another kind were available. -bd

[eldorado61guy]

National Lampoon website wouldn't let me log in. I'm old enough to remember buying the Magazines. They were great. Talented staff.

[arsenal22960]

better to laugh than cry... says one Photoshopped out of existence. brilliant.

so, we're supposed to take the laptop into the lavatory, now?

[cinemasolo]

Ain't no 'splainin' this stuff! Thanks for watching! -bd

[cinemasolo]

Me too! Hang in there! -bd