God Saved My Life -- Testimony

(Lifehouse's Everything Skit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA)

This video is my testimony, my life, my past, what I've been through. I cannot convey to you in 11 minutes how abused I was, how hurt I was, how angry, and INCREDIBLY sad I was. My spirit was ripped from me. My life and my voice were taken from me. Every time I tried to speak out, screaming that something was not right with this situation (aka: being in the middle of FIVE, I forgot to mention, custody battles), I was not heard and I was shut up. I was so incredibly misunderstood. My anger was seen as a bad thing. When, really, my anger towards myself and my parents were the only voice I had left to tell them that I wasn't right and I wasn't getting what I need. My counselor has been in the business for 25 years, and she told me my dad is the worst she has EVER SEEN concerning the severity of his mental health issues. And he blames his issues on me my whole life! Can you see how detrimental that would be to a little girl? To a child? To me? I hated myself, because that's all I knew: hate. All I knew how to do was hate. I beat myself up every day: I'm gonna throw up so I can show myself how much I hate myself. I'm going to punch myself, burn myself, cut myself, so I can show myself how much I hate myself, how worthless I am. However, my coping skills (the eating disorder and the self-harm) are not needed anymore. Because I am a grown woman of 20 years old. I can set boundaries with my dad so he can't abuse me, and I can work with my mom to heal our relationship and voice our needs in a healthy way. So, I have rid myself of the self-harm, even though the scars still rid my body. However, it's harder to shake the ED. That is hard to shake. However, when something is wrong, if there's something in my life that is not right, my ED spurs up a little bit. When I am in my element, letting my spirit not be thwarted and letting me fly, it doesn't even exist. This is a video of only the surface of what really happened to me, but it happened to me. Now it's time to overcome.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• God
• saved
• my
• life
• testimony
• faith
• eating disorder
• depression

[thegibberingfool]

what is that background sound? it sounds like a mini helicopter is taking off

and also is talking to random people on the internet about this not embarrassing?

[Singing4Him4ever]

@thegibberingfool deal with it! haha

[SCOTTYBEE4JC]

wow you went thru so much. Glad God is now part of ur life!! great story sweetie -Scotty Bee :)

[Singing4Him4ever]

@SCOTTYBEE4JC Thank you. I'm so glad God brought me through the storm. Makes me know I can overcome anything :)

[pheonixlanding]

I'm so sorry u went through this but am so grateful that u are doing so well now. Love u.

[Singing4Him4ever]

@pheonixlanding and I'm sorry you went through all that. but, yes, I am doing really well now. With a lot of therapy to undo all those negative cognitions.. couldn't have been able do to it without her. love you too =] xx

[thegibberingfool]

@thegibberingfool not hating

[thegibberingfool]

@Singing4Him4ever I have I'm just asking 

[SCOTTYBEE4JC]

@Singing4Him4ever amen!! i'm glad he brought you through too :-)

[StefanialovesJesus]

God bless you!



[wolfgirl8302]

@MrFlutterPie You and me a d here are all alike ask me if you wanna know what happend to me ok just ask me

[wolfgirl8302]

So sad I am sorry for u but if it hurt you to talk a out it why would you tell us do t tell us stuff that is privet not being mean its just it's important to keep that to your self but I went thought my childhood way worse so if u wanna know ask me and I will tell you