Irish Blessings

Dancing, bag pipes, laughter, corn beef and cabbage, family, fun, Blessings and the color green only scratch the surface of what St. Patricks Day is.

This day is one of those significant days that will be considered as a marker for a drastic change in direction. My father kidnapped my siblings and I at age seven. Moved us away from our mother and we lost all contact with her for awhile. It was a life of fear and overwhelming pain for me.

I was raised as a Seventh Day Adventist and even so I can conclude even with little memories of my child hood how very confusing it would be for a child to hear the bible teacher quote scriptures like Hebrews 13:6, God himself has said, I will not fail you or desert you, and so we can say with confidence; With the Lord to help me, I fear nothing; What can man do to me? How confusing it must have been for a little girl whose father would enter her bedroom at anytime in the night. He can touch me and fondle me as I lay there pretending to be sleeping. My relationship with Jesus seemed to only be possible if I were to be a good girl and follow all the rules. My relationship with my father seemed only possible if I were a good girl and went along with his advances. Yet my father beat me with the law and rules, my religion pulverized me with condemnation and shame and Jesus seemed deafly silent. All seemed to position me into compliance. But I refused to comply with fathers advances and the unfair division of labor was my punishment for refusing to please my father. He held back all privileges from me as I sat and watched my brothers and sisters enjoying them. He would make excuses for why I was not allowed to have it but the truth was he was trying to train me to be his prostitute and I was not for sale no matter what I had to endure. I do remember one day all the children were allowed to steer the car. Oh how I wanted a turn. He dropped off the other children and would scoot me by him. He said, You can steer if you let me rub your chest. I curled up to the door and I mustered all I could to look disinterested and I told him I did not want to steer. I would look out the window and tremble inside with confusion. This law was killing this little girl. This hypocrisy was destroying and keeping me from understanding the concepts of love. Satan is a thief and it has been his intent and determination to destroy me even as a child. He uses many weapons but the one I see him using that has been most effective was legalism.

After years of abuse I ran away and a week later standing in front of two police officers telling my story they would have my sister and I on a bus to Madison from Arizona days later. The day of arrival St. Patricks Day!

St Patricks stand for freedom to me. It stood as a doorway of healing in which I chose to enter in. It is a day that has nothing to do with green beer but everything to do with smiling, spring, laughter and healing. So here is to the love and the blessings of this Irish Las! May God be known not as a child who abandoned children of abuse ... but rather a God in whom protected my mind and my ability to love and be loved. He gave me back my mother and built in her the ability to deal with my teenage rage. He even protected my ability to trust! AMEN? AMEN!
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[living4dlord1983]

I love your words in your description. Your life is one great testimony Ellie. You should do as you are. Shouting from the mountain tops what God has done in your life! So many people are moved by your heart and your experiences. Your videos speak boldly of a God we cannot learn about in church. It is in the experiences that we find the Jesus who you reveal here in your videos. Your friend in Christ