Adoption Affects on Birthmothers

http://musingsofthelame.blogspot.com/ Five regular everyday women..the kind you see everyday..over a forty year span..speak of what adoption has done for them in their lives as birthmothers.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• squallop
• adoption
• birthmothers
• adoptees
• adopted
• persons
• reunion
• natural
• family
• preservation

[alecniles]

Many women keep their kids and go on wellfare. Those kids suffer for the selfishness of their mothers. I wonder if that woman would have gotten a PHd if she had to take care of a baby and work multiple jobs. Wellfare, federal housing and foodstamps is always an option for any unwed19 yr old with a baby. BUt it is a cycle that you will never be released from. Abortion or Adoption are great choices. Putting a kid through a life of suffering, is not worth living.

[FauxClaud]

@alecniles Thats crap. 100% of the birthmothers I know are goal based, educated intelligent women. There is NOTHING that guarentees that ANYONE of us would have spent a life on welfare with or without a child in tow. Would a Phd take longer? Perhaps, but one also has the additional motivation of wanting to provide for their child. I don;t know how many mothers I know liost the WILL to even life much less prosper after losing their chiuldren to adoption.

[alecniles]

@FauxClaud: Seperation is pain you must deal with for bearing a child. When we get pregnant, we are bound by the decisions we make. It is better to bear the suffering in hopes of the many possibiliies your child having a better life than you could have given them. It is SO SELFISH to drag a child through your hardship. Blame your family, Blame the Catholic church for making you birth a child. Blame yourself for getting pregnant. But blaming adoption system for your pain is irrational.

[FauxClaud]

@alecniles Actually they way i see it it was SELFISH of the agency, the industry to ASK me to be separated from my child fro their purposes. It was SELFSIH that they asked my child be separated form HI S FAMILY for unnecessary reasons. My son did not have a BETTER life, he had a DIFFERENT life... and it had no guarentee of actually being BETTER. the minute I signed those papers, I lost any contriol I had to keep it BEST.

Don't tell me how my story went.

[kaldiboo]

way to go ladies. this is amazing. thank you.

[TheresaTheUngrateful]

Thank you Suz, Claud, Bernadette, Mirah and Jacqueline.

[MrBrian987987]

Usually we hear from adoptees not the mothers. I'm sorry for the way you were treated. You all obviously have good hearts.

[modelsoffduty]

BARF at Jacquelyn Norman, who is actually an adoption social worker?  "I just hope that one day HE REALIZES WHAT I WENT THROUGH (in doing something that I thought would be better for him" "the way that they treated me...that my uterus was used"..."I feel like the decision I made hasn't been validated because they've written me off" "something that oftentimes people don't know unless I share with them, BUT I KNOW..." What a victim. She wants her kid to validate her pain? GROW UP.

[runnrbabe]

You People Have No Clue What its Like to go threw this Listin to these woman, This will be a Life time affect for them, Kudos to all Of you Ive been there too, almost 30 years for me, Just talk Via txt and email, No words yet, no reunion yet, But maybe someday.

[alecniles]

@DjPetrov Clearly, the spelling wasn't so bad for you to understand that if you ever showed up at my doorstep talking that bullshit, I would do more than bitch slap you. Moreover, your spelling and grammar is worse that mine. No wonder you responded so fast, I typed it just so would understand it. Adoption is a gift to be celebrated, NOT cried over. If you ever came to my door with your threats I would give you something to cry about.

[alecniles]

Stacie Turner, the black woman on the housewives of DC was adopted at birth by a black family who loves her,& looks like her. When her mom died, she told her father she wanted to meet her birther. She found the birther, who is white, & told her that she t wan't to meet Stacie or tell her family; 4 children & husband. Stacie is a Howard grad w/a Harvard MBA & is very succesfull with a loving husband & 2 sons. Stacie's family is the adopted family not the birther & her offspring.

[DjPetrov]

@alecniles You can not even spell right lol....Wow and calling me an idiot.....Just because you gave up yours don't give your bitch style talking to me like that.

[alecniles]

@DjPetrov You are an idiot! Clearly your parents are knuckle heads for raising you to be an idiot. Women give children to adoption for the wellbeing of the child. The possibility of a better life is hell of alot better than the probability of a life of struggle & vulnerability. It is not fair to the child to bank on hope. When the birther CHOSE it. BTW, If you ever came to me talking that shit, I would make you wish you were never born. Recognize that adoption is a gift bitch!

[alecniles]

@FauxClaud I don't need the government to council me on my CHOICE; abortion, giving up for adoption or parenting. I am troubled that you blame the agency for your decision. Blame your family not the agency. I don't need an agency to tell me to birth, abort, put up for adoption or parent. It is ONLY my CHOICE. If I need coucil I will seek a therapist or an attorney. If I knock on an agency's door then I've decided. We all have regrets. I hope you get therapy to learn to deal with yours.

[alecniles]

@FauxClaud You did not LOSE a child. You GAVE a child away. Incubating does not make you the mother. My words are in good faith, & not ment to be hurtful. We have the CHOICE to birth, parent or not too. CHOICE, is a god given right of every woman in america. We all have regrets. It is better for the birther to bare the regret of her CHOICE, than to burder a child with her selfishness. Women don't birth & give the child away for no reason. The Agency places the child,not raises the birther.

[alecniles]

@MrWomanpower The PHd referred to the student who put child up for adoption, and finished school, obtaining a PHd in the video. Now she is one of the women crying about the affects on the "birth mother". A birther is an incubator. not a mother. We carry pain and regret with what ever mistake we make that conflicts with our indoctrination. That is fine. Because We should bare the pain of our decisions, not IMPOSE the pain on others. Ones offspring should not be burdened with our mistakes.