Reclaiming Words

[TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of slurs] Jenn talks about the basics of reclaiming words. And is REALLY snuffly, sorry!
Reclaiming words playlist: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=...

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[CuteButEvil27]

This week, you're all comfortable with saying all the other slurs aloud, and no-one would ever get offended, you're saying them to explain them and talk about them, not USE them in that sense. Although my skin crawls to think about saying a few of the words covered in this series (which I hugely enjoyed btw!) I think there's the risk of giving it more power by avoiding it and classing it as somehow stronger. It's a nasty hateful dark word, like the rest, but it's a word.

[ThosePeskyDames]

Hey! I personally didn't want to say it because I didn't feel like it's up to me to decide where to set the line. I guess I felt like it was okay to say slurs that could be applied to me, but as that slur can't, I didn't feel like it was up to me to decide if it was acceptable or not. Thanks! Jenn x

[CuteButEvil27]

I personally think (as a woman of roughly your demographic) that in a situation like this one - ie. a sensible, academic, respectful discussion about words and slurs in particular, that it's okay to SAY "the N-word".

(sorry, it's a two-parter! :P)

[ThosePeskyDames]

It's okay, you don't have to apologise for disagreeing with me! I think we can just agree to disagree in this case. - J

[NimbusDX]

Also, I'd just like to let you know that you are my favorite of the TPD bloggers, so I don't mean to take my frustrations out on you. I've just become a bit impatient with the absolute, categorical statements that I hear from fellow activists. "You're not allowed to do this" and "she's not allowed to say that" and "they're not allowed to talk about such-and-such because they're not part of 'x' group". We've got a lot of self-appointed rule-makers out there, and I'm just getting a bit weary of it

[NimbusDX]

Let's use the word "queer" as an example. "Queer" has been used extensively as a slur in the past. Is it unacceptable for a heterosexual person to say "I support equal rights for the queer community"? Since they aren't a member of the minority, and since slurs are ALWAYS slurs, this person was obviously wrong to use the word. Oh wait. No they weren't. They have used "queer" merely as a descriptor and not as a slur. I guess maybe, just maybe, context might play a teensy role in the situation.

[NimbusDX]

You are free to inform them that the way they have used a word is offensive, but you don't get to tell them what they "get to" to say. In fact, by maintaining the "such-and-such group isn't allowed to use that word" mentality, we only increase the power that word has in the hands of that group. People can only use words to hurt us insofar as we care whether or not they use them. I understand your position, but the situation is not as clear-cut as you would have others believe.

[ThosePeskyDames]

But in that instance, it's still a slur. It's just a slur that is being quoted. I'm just saying straight people don't get to say that word casually, or as an insult, or a descriptor, because it's never been used against them. Um also I'm not hetero (that isn't that relevant...I just wanted to add that in there to clear up any misunderstanding). - Jenn

[NimbusDX]

Except that it isn't always a slur, as you yourself have just admitted. Sometimes, as you have admitted, it is part of a quotation. Sometimes, it's other things too. That translates to "not always". Does that mean that every person is going to find every usage inoffensive? No, it doesn't. However, it doesn't mean that every usage is automatically offensive either. As you said, you don't speak for the queer community, so what makes you qualified to decide which words are always a slur to us?

[ThosePeskyDames]

Thank you! :) - J x