Noel Fielding takes on hecklers at Just The Tonic

Click more for transcript of audio (thanks April). Recorded at Just The Tonic's Christmas Extreme at The Royal Centre in Nottingham 22nd Dec 2006.

BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT:

Noel:
Have you finished with your travel card?
Have you finished with your travel card?
Have you finished with your travel card?
Have you finished?
Have you?
Have you finished?
Have you?
Have you finished?

I I

Man1: *inaudible*

Noel: Are you interrupting again? Its you again, isnt it? There cant be two twats in that tiny area.

Man 2: Hey you suck!

Noel: Sorry?

Man 2: You suck!

Noel: Who, me or him?

Man2: Both of you!

Noel: Both of us? Youre.. youre third in that order though, surely. Even him, he's a total cunt, youre bett, uh, worse than him. Do I suck?

Man2: Yes!

Man1: Are you gunna shave your head?

Noel: Am I gunna shave my head? Jeez You suck, yes, are you gunna shave your head? Yeah, I am, yeah, this is what this is about. This is a hairdressers. This is the Barbers preamble before he comes out and cuts my hair. There's four of them and were gunna do a fucking quartet then I'm gunna stab you in the eyes with the scissors.

Man1: How do you put your trousers on?

Noel: Huh?

Man1: How do you put your trousers on?

Noel: How do I put them on? Is that a trick question?

Man1: Want me to show you?

Noel: I put them in the fire, then come down the chimney. And then at night, I take them off again to fuck your momma.

Man1: Youre not very imaginative!

Noel: Well I fuck her in an imaginative way. I dress her up as a penguin and then set fire to her.

*Man1 doesnt reply.*

Noel: Anything? I dont mind, I love these games, cmon. Silence is golden. Look at you, creepin off in the dark like Fergal Sharkey. Now you got nothing to say. Not very imaginative. Everyone hates you.

END OF TRANSCRIPT

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Noel
• Fielding
• Mighty
• Boosh
• Just
• The
• Tonic

[Liny1788]

i cant really hear what he is saying! someone help me!

[squiz1210]

Click 'more' for transcript

[JackyRowe]

you can't heckle a good comedian, coz they're always gonna come back with something really witty that will put the heckler down.

[xmirza57]

hahahahaahaha i didn't think it was possible but noel just got 85% hotter and awesomer. that heckler was a dickhead and he should have quit long before then.

[ImagineTheSky]

Noel is hilarious! That man just makes himself look like a complete twat! I love the end, "everyone hates you."

[Foxybean101]

I bet that heckler feels sooo stupid now, lol at him.

[aleciaXsteele]

Such a beautiful man x

[ManFromMars50]

What a wonderful man. And what a shit person that heckler was.

[TeamLiss]

Woo!! Go Noel!! Greatest ever!!

[LaPlumeDeMaTante1]

I do agree with the heckler that his 'fuck your momma' comment was rather lame. I never thought he'd stoop to that. I think maybe Noel himself would agree that was not his finest moment. But after that he did well defending himself without resorting into obscenities.

[KEEPtheFAIT]

G'wonnn Noel;)

[starlollie]

Noel is a walking ball of awesome imagination with good hair and nice boots. That is the stupidest comment Ive ever heard.

[magnifiquemonkey]

Moon voice<3