Found Poetry: Pippa Middleton's 400K Book Advance

Another Dave Gorman style "found poem.



Oh for goodness sake, We hear more of her than we do of Kate. She's just a greedy parasite cashing in on her sister's eventual triumph in stalking and trapping her prey.

Money. it sure does talk for the right sum, or in the case of Pippa, writing..

Chapter 1.....Sister marries Royalty. Chapter 2....... jump on the bandwagon and wind up a whole nation for being a nobody and then rake in the proceeds. Chapter 3...who cares????

A half inflated foil bag from inside a wine box makes an ideal impromptu pillow when crashing out at a party. 400 k please.

Four hundred grand isn't really that much to this girl and her family. They didn't live in a row of miners cottages before one of them became a queen, y'know

wrong: her mother's side of the family were miners and labourers

Good for her! She deserves it after all the mean things that have been said about her in the press recently. She clearly sparkles with intelligence and she has an English degree from Edinburgh University, a respected establishment. The book will be great.

Yeah, because Pippa is going to be able to relate to people on a tight budget? Your face isn't that pretty infact looks like you have been whacked with a shoval.

Perfect party guide:
1. Beer
2. Sandwiches.
3. Crisps.
4. Pork-pies or sausage rolls.
5. chicken curry and rice in a polystyrene bowl
6. Wife/girlfriend to go & get seconds for you.

You all sound like a bunch of whining Marxist students--"it's not FAIR!!!!"Get a grip!

I will get a grip, if you point me in the direction of pippa's arse!

Pippa - the new Fergie. She has a harder face, thus making her seem older than her sister. I wouldn't give her a second look.

Forget second look, she wouldn't merit a first look in most places on the Continent and especially in Eastern Europe what with so many gorgeous women running free in the streets of Prague, Budapest, Moscow, Minsk and Kiev. God has giving the English many blessings and talents but, sorry, he definitely was stingy in the looks department.

I fail to see why the world seems to be fascinated with that rather unremarkable and old looking girl. But, good luck to her, there are many royal stalkers out there and many bored housewives.

Nice one Pippa. I wouldn't mind her blowing up MY balloons

Category:

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• gorman
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• poetry
• pippa
• middleton
• book
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• party
• planning

[KateReadsBooks]

I would blow the corpse of every monarch in history for 400,000 pounds ($625,240)

[BaubleRob]

@KateReadsBooks Most of them are skeletons now, so thank God the word 'boner' isn't literal. Also, you might have a hard time with Queen Vic, as she didn't believe in lesbians. Or smiling, apparently.

[Theultimatebride]

I had this nutjob idea once to make up poems from sentences that I overheard while walking through various places. What mind-altering chemicals was I on that day? People get locked up for that kind of behaviour.

[BaubleRob]

@Theultimatebride Always try to look on the bright side. Poems from people is better than murder plots from neighbours' dogs.

[Theultimatebride]

If Pippa Middleton molested a child, the media would be so confused about what to do.

[BaubleRob]

@Theultimatebride They'd pay the victim for the serialisation rights.

[Shannoburger]

I now know so much i believe I have exploded

[BaubleRob]

@TeenAuthor I can twist the top of my ear into a point and it stays there. BEST TALENT.

[BaubleRob]

@UnityPhreak I know. It's like going salmon fishing in a river full of grizzlies. The fish are delicious but you might get your head swiped off.

[BaubleRob]

@IronJawJim Kind of sad when the press make every woman in a high place a fashion icon or victim. I don't think Pippa has much else going for her, though.