fine.....?

I just wrote this right now. Sitting here on my bed crying and listing to When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne. So that's why it's kinda all over the place. It's not what I planned but my emotions just came out.
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Fine.....?

I'm fine. I don't need you!YEs, there is tears and make up streaming down my face but I'm fine! If fact I've never been better, since the day you took my heart and smashed it in to a million peaces, that are now dust under your feet. But you mean nothing to me, all you are is just a picture to burn, to burn out of my memory. I'm fine. The fresh cuts on my wrists are nothing and the pain that has caused me to want to disaper from this earth forever is nothing, because I'm fine! I don't need you or anyone else! Just leave! I knew better then to trust you, then to love you. So just go and leave me in my missory here all alone. I hate you! Thanks so much for making the promice that you would never hurt or leave me, because you have done both. I just want to know, while you were kissing her did you think of me, at all? Was I anything to you? Do you even care what you've done to me? I'll never be happy agian!I let down my walls and let you in, and this is how you repay me?!? You really had the balls to go tell my bestfriend that she was prettier then me, and kiss her? Why?!? Was I just girlfriend 59 to you? Because you were EVERYTHING to me. Oh how I wish I could see you agian, but I know I can't. I wish I could feel your gentle kiss on my lips once agian. It seams that you never even thougt about me....does she love you as much as I did? Will she tell you everyday? Will you hurt her like you hurt me? Is this all just a game to you? To see how many girls you can hurt in your life? 58, is that the number of girls you've hurt? well now 59...what happend to forever? Is it just a figure of my imagation? Was it all just a lie? The kisses, the late night phone calls? The way you kissed me? Do you kiss her the same way? Did your heart skip a beat when we touched like mine did? Did I mean aything to you, anything at all? I guess not....but don't worry about me because, I'm just fine.

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• -cries-