Adoption - An Adoptee on her Mom's Perspective

My husband and I are in the process of adopting from China. This video confirms our pledge to make sure our child always knows where she came from. Maybe some of you think it's wrong, that's your opinion, but in our hearts we know we are doing the right thing; we will never discount our child's heritage.

It's very sad, I believe that most adoptive parents mean well, but probably dont know how to deal with the situations that come up in regards to adoptees and their feelings. I dont now how the programs work, I know classes are involved in the adoption program, most of the time, but in some cases it doesnt seem extensive enough. Communication and empathy are really important when connecting to your loved ones, especially when that loved one is an adoptee, there is a different level of emotions.

Knowing who we are and where we come from and where we fit in, is a right that normal people take for granted, and that adoptees don't have.
Adoption sucks.

I don't think adoption sucks, but there are certainly adoptive parents who could do a much better job. I think that that is one of the key points to this film - that we as adoptive parents need to do better and also not act if racism doesn't exist.

I'm trying hard to understand the psychology of this all. Is it more that the adopted children have the feeling of not fitting in, or is it how some of the parents seem to dance around the subject and refuse to acknowledge it or play it off as something that doesn't matter, although it mattered to their kids? Like, if the mother had atleast tried to understand and see it thru her daughter's eyes would the issue have been half as painful?

I say it's more of the adoptee feeling like they don't fit in. Some adoptive parents do have a part in thinking their adopted baby is a blank slate, with no previous history, and that all the love in the world will make the differences go away.

it helps if the mother at the bare minimum acknowledges that her daughter is going through a lot. adoptive parents need to support their adoptee, even if they themselves feel uncomfortable.

Get over it and thank god your white parents were kind enough to take you to a first world nation.

it's always the non-adoptees who think they know most about adoptees. i hope you never adopt.

I'm a (white) adoptive parent to an Asian child. My daughter should not have to be grateful for being given a basic human right - every child deserves a loving family. Your attitude is part of the problem. These children aren't charity cases - and they go through much loss before they are adopted. Stupid comments such as yours are part of the problem.

Scata99, you're yet another person with a superiority complex.
Leave your hateful supremacist remarks back at your dog house.