How to drive like a pensioner

How to drive like a pensioner.

Old gits, I mean pensioners get cheap car insurance, here's why.

Pensioners never stall a car - 50 years of driving experience insures that the elderly know exactly how revs the engine can take, before it explodes.

A good pair of driving gloves helps you the feel the road better -- that way you know when you mounted the kerb.


This gentle man is taking his time whilst parking his car, which is a good thing, you can't be too careful to make sure you do the job as accurately as possible. Although by the time he has finished he may have to change his colostomy bag.


Remember, when approaching a junction you must slow to a complete stop, and ponder the speed of the non-existent on-coming traffic. Then gently shuffle the wheel until you're in the middle of the road. You can apply this method when turning off a main road too.

You can never pass parked cars with too much room, I'm sure those coming the other way can see you're heading straight for them.

Driving slowly is better than going fast -- the slower you drive the quicker you'll get there.

Pensioners concentrate when they drive, just look at how much effort is going in the task of not veering off into these pedestrians.

Make sure you indicate half a mile before you intend on turning off, and when you eventually get to the junction you should bear left when you want to turn right, and then hesitate for so long that you piss off everyone behind you.

When you've been driving as long as I have you'll know that, er, I can't remember what I going to say, but




Music written by P. Saywood, (aka g4rdenpoon)

Filmed in Farnham, and Sainsbury's Water Lane on May 8th

Category:

Autos & Vehicles

Tags:

• gardenspoon
• g4rdenspoon
• funny
• amusing
• comedy
• piss
• take
• bad
• advise
• driving
• old
• people
• dangerous
• Ford
• Mondeo
• crap

[winxger]

i was on a slip road heading on to the motorway when the car in front of me driven by a woman of at least 90 stopped and waited untill there were no cars in sight before she pulled out and she indicted left. should be a age when they are not allowed to drive

[g4rdenspoon]

@winxger Maybe not an age, as many older drivers are still 'switched-on', but that old lady - yes - that is pretty dangerous, I bet she set slowly as well, and the traffic soon came beaqring down, braking suddenly and probably getting a bit angry.

There is a slip road near where I live onto the A3 where they do this all the time as it's a bit short, I once got behind a bloke in a Porsche who did this - I couldn't believe - even in Transit van it was just possible to get enough speed up!?

[HandwhistlerBen]

Another great video with some funny great advice! This video is a MUST SEE!

[g4rdenspoon]

@HandwhistlerBen Glad you enjoyed Ben, Thanks :)

[Tpavra]

Its funny because its true!

[HarveyEspatchelowe]

and if anyone complains...just talk about how many decades they've paid taxes.

[theloathlydaddy]

LOL I think I'll stay off the road from now on! Haha!!

[g4rdenspoon]

@NEVERMORExxxxx Thanks Pie :)

[tomken8dy]

@g4rdenspoon

They once asked for proof that I had permission to

use my own FACE and photo of my channel page

as a background but then they just forgot about it

and approved it.

To be fair, they've been SUED dozens of times.

Wouldn't you be anal compulsive too?

[g4rdenspoon]

@littlegalah Spacial awareness goes missing

[g4rdenspoon]

@gazmetal He was obviously right then :P