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4:34 does NOT say "to beat" them. This is a false translation by Sunni translators, who translate according to Sunni, without regard to Qur'an. The Arabic word "adribunna" does NOT mean to beat, when used in the only other time in Qur'an, but "to leave". 2:231 if I am not mistaken, when the man is at fault, these same translators made this word "to leave" or "to depart," so WHY in 4:34 do they say it means "to beat?" The answer is the Sunnah says this.
the Prophet (pbuh) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. he never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. it is just barely permissible in, and should preferably be avoided
so as a conclusion this light tap is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. However, if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship, then he should avoid it completely. but If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."
you may ask me how i came to this understading, i'll tell you one verse is not enaugh to understand some subject, Quran is a complete book of guidance, a complete understanding can only be achieved by understanding the whole issue as presented over all the verses and chapters and not by looking at only part of the Quran. God specifically warns us against doing just that, and i believe now you can understand why
also the context of the verses n how Prophet Muhammad dealt with them, and at least a cursory knowledge of the Sunnah, are required for a more understanding of any subject.
studying Quran is not like reading Harry Potter! ... even Harry Potter, if you took 2 or 3 lines from the bottom of the book, its very possible you will misunderstand them.
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The answer is the Sunnah says this.
The pure Islam is that of the Qur'an.
studying Quran is not like reading Harry Potter! ... even Harry Potter, if you took 2 or 3 lines from the bottom of the book, its very possible you will misunderstand them.