[JAKES VERSE]
let me tell you a story about a kid name jake who fell in love with a preteen
he likes them big he likes them small he likes them short he likes them tall
he likes them all he likes them young and full of alcohol
he makes exceptions for girls a little older they have to have one quality
they either have to have dated his friends or give him lots of stuff for free....raquel...whore.
heres another little story about a kid name jake who fell in love with a fat chick
i might be mistaken on the whole " love thing " prolly just wanted a place for his dick
when she was driving her arm fat jiggled like a bowl mommas cherry jello
the old saying 'more cushion for the pushin' yeah this chick she was shaped like a pillow
he took her out for dinner and a movie but she just wanted dinner and dinner...
a bucket of chicken she was finger licking but she wasnt gettin any thinner
i know he thinks that shoving in a fatty wont do any harm...
well jake, dont be so sure, what the fuck is on your arm??
its gettin hot maybe he should take her home and get her naked on his twin sized bed...
or maybe they could just stay in the car if she was still hungry she could give him head...
jacob thought it out, all that weight on his bed just like i said it filled his head with fear
maybe they could just stay in the car be the inspiration for song called
sex in a cavalier
they had sex in a cavalier
...and it was dark...
and she said
uh oh whats this
a hershey kiss
its not his dick
but it sure looks like it
and i wish
you could see it
her car has an donut
with extra glaze on it
uh oh for goodness sakes
with all that weight in the car
pull the emergency brake
its times like this
i know he thinks
it a damn good thing hes blind
he cant see whats touching his dick.....
[BLUES VERSE]
let me tell you a story about a kid named blue who thinks he can sing
he tries to make his voice sound pretty but all he does is make my ears ring
when hes alone he shaves his stomache and chest sometimes i wonder if hes really a chick
and one more thing his toes are webbed, i bet his thighs are webbed right to his dick
when he starts his car it squeaks its really an annoying noise
but one good thing about his car is it disguises the sound of his voice...
everyday we hear you sing it sounds just like nails on a chalkboard
but only if you through it out of a plane a mile high and then it hit a horse
i know us singing about how you cant sing is getting on your nerves...
well heres your big shot blue, you can take the second verse...............
boo woo!
my name is blue!
i can scream
way better then you!
i got a car
its super fast!
and i style my hair
with the juice from my ass!
hey girls!
im in a band!
and i'd love to make love
to something other then my hand!
so to all the hoes
and all the bitches
how would you like
to take all three inches??!!
not me, i have a big dick...
and they'll say...
oh jeeze
his hair is full of grease
he says its gel
but he smells like taco bell
oh no
as she looks down below
she questions him....
wondering if its cold
oh hey
he has something to say
just cause he works at express
it doesnt mean hes gay
its times like this i know he thinks
day jobs are a damn good thing....
when you cant fucking sing!
because you cant fucking sing.
[RAYS PART]
now i'll tell you a story about a kid names ray who addicted to cats.
the only pussy he neglects to touch is located in his girlfriends pants
you'll never tear him away from his games but if you try you'll need some luck.
its been a year since hes moved from his couch and now he has grow two c-cups.
he has toys set up all around his house i guess he likes to pretend
that hes just like goku or broly. or maybe he just likes half naked men..
but its hard to make fun of him because hes one of the nicest guys...
ok, thats not it, its because hes six foot five...
you always say you cant stay out late or that you gotta work at 8
but we all know you dont wanna make cassie mad cuz when you do she throws all your plates
everyday he stays in the house and his idea of fun,
is working at dvincis cuz he gets a squirt of special sauce directly in his buns...
well ray stop being gay
just pause the game, and come and play with us
its me and paul
and jake we'll call
we'll lower your cholesteral
hey, ray, stop being gay
just stop the game, and come and play with us.
its me and paul
and jake we'll call
we'll lower your cholesteral today
...today...
or we'll say...
oh shit
we wish you werent so whipped
your in the same boat as jake
but with a bigger wake...
oh no
you jiggle like jello
pilsbury
go outside, stop kneeding your dough
oh jeez
stop playing d.b.z
your not like broly...
you have to many calories
its times like this i know he thinks
he needs to find 3 new friends
...maybe new half naked men...
and ill finish, with a high noooote!!
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lmao, some of the funniest most original shit ive heard.
is this you singing or did you rip the video from someone else?
if it's you, that shit was funny as fuck, haha.
dunno if i like that style of singing that much, but otherwise it was epic.
Xarmy187 2 years ago 3
yeah thats me. its me ripping on a few of my friends.
WithBareEyes 2 years ago
fucking awesome, kinda reminds me of blink back in the good old days
aguscoria 2 years ago
best compliment ever. haha
WithBareEyes 2 years ago
good shit bro! you got a fan in tampa!
MyrmidonHOA 3 years ago
haha thanks man.
WithBareEyes 3 years ago