How To Become a Sperm Donor

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It sounds like an easy way to make money. It could even be fun. But first you have to be accepted.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Youth
A clean bill of health
Height
A college degree
A commitment to donate weekly for six months

Step 1: Check your credentials

See if you meet the basic credentials for applying. You must be between 18 and 35 (some sperm banks accept older donors); at least 5' 11" tall; in excellent health; have no family history of genetic diseases; and be drug-free.

Tip: Donors need not apply unless they know their biological parents' medical history.

Step 2: Find a sperm bank

Find a sperm bank near you, via the Internet or by asking your doctor.

Step 3: Get an application

Call and request an application. You will receive a lengthy questionnaire that asks about your sexual preferences; drug, alcohol, and tobacco habits; educational and professional backgrounds; hobbies; athletic and musical abilities; family diseases; et cetera.

Tip: To be a viable sperm donor, you must agree to be tested for HIV.

Step 4: Go to the bank

If your answers are up to snuff, you will be asked to come in for an interview and to give a sperm sample.

Tip: Only 20 percent of applicants are invited to provide a sperm sample for testing.

Step 5: Give a sample

After being interviewed by a sperm counselor, it's time to visit the "masturbatorium," where you will produce a sample that is tested for sperm count and mobility—in other words, how well the little impregnators swim.

Tip: Don't feel badly if your sperm doesn't make the grade; more than half the samples don't—even those that come from men who've fathered healthy children.

Step 6: Take blood tests

If your sperm measures up, you'll go back for blood tests to rule out STDs and other problems. You'll have to repeat these tests periodically.

Step 7: Start making deposits

Assuming all the blood tests come back clean, you're ready to donate. And donate you will—you'll have to make deliveries one or two times a week for at least six months.

Tip: Some sperm banks require you to write essays about yourself, provide photos, and make biographical videotapes.

Step 8: Collect your pay

Watch the money roll in ... or, rather, trickle. Payment is between $35 and $100 per usable specimen.

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[Bunny123222]

lol masturbatorium c:

[MrDip02]

what you need

1.a penis

2.the internet

3.lotion and napkins

4.ENJOY

[Chismoso7]

Too much work to get your cum accepted and they pay peanuts. It's not worth all the time and effort. Just get a hooker and enjoy.

[fishy1289]

Eww that was a little close to his mouth

[sgabrielsamhotmail]

interesting

[cvunit]

So I get paid to masturbate? coool, ok srly they have a room name masturbatorium? I would feel uncomfortable being in that room

[MrKalipax]

Oh shit, I forgot my height, I think its next to the bed

[colinwar]

well, im too short, fat, ugly, dumb and unsuccessfull for this job, plus only about 70 per donation. thats stupid, the girl pays like 18000 for this fucking procedure, she couldent do shit without the sperm, so demand more, thats what i say.

[lawquiet314]

Whoever set the standards for this is a idiot you basically have to be Mr. perfect

[BryannAwesome]

i wouldn't touch those door knobs 

[dahoboman]

Hey I'm gonna become a sperm donor!

*watches video*

...nevermind

[admiral120]

Do you really have to write an essay on why you should buy my sperm because I find that just hilarious lmao