I Wanna Be A Lifeguard by Blotto

copyright Blottones Music

written by Broadway Blotto

www.blotto.net

Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
9 to 5
A slave driver telling me "Get on the ball!"
A crowded store
I kneel before them
Misery beyond compare
Sweaty socks
A lady boxer
What's she got against fresh air?
I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion
Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help,help,help,help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Hardly any clothes (lifeguard)
Sand between my toes (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
I'm getting fat
What does it matter?
Nobody cares at all
But next July, I'll say goodbye to every out-of-it, dull-witted fool
Convert their feet into meters, marking distance at the swimming pool
Summer blondes revealing tanlines
I'll make more moves than Allied Van Lines
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (be a big man, now...get a great tan, now)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Sitting on my chair (lifeguard)
In the salty air (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help,help,help,help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Lounging on the deck (lifeguard)
Whistle 'round my neck (lifeguard)
White stuff in my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Wanna
• Be
• Lifeguard
• Blotto
• Broadway
• Bowtie
• Cheese
• Lee
• Harvey
• Sarge
• Albany
• 80's
• Collected
• Works

[stooge81]

the cheesey video...neon-colored clothing...mullet hairdos...man, the 80's really sucked. i miss them so much.

[unclebillmusic]

Sat whatever you want - this is a GREAT song. It's got everything that a song should have. Good beat,rhythm harmony,seriousness,comedy,hid­den message, intro of group. YOU CAN'T DENY IT !!!

[TheRocknrollheart65]

@Beetham Are we not men? We are DEVO!

[dhildemann]

Blotto played my college in 1983. Yeah I'm old. But it was the 80's These guys were fun. Not everyone can be REM.



[Abrielolive]

3 new members later they became Slipknot.



[EdFugg]

Inspiring to see there are half-musicians keeping up the grand tradition of producing music that goes from almost-funny to almost-irritating in just a few moments, and stays that way forever. Or or 25 years, whichever. Are they all retired schoolteachers now? Except for the dead one?

[Beetham]

Well, I can see where Aquabats get their inspiration...

[kissvids]

been lackidaisically looking for this forever.....wish it was as cool as i remembered it.

[butler0516]

what a great song. makes me want to go to the beach. lifeguard rocks!!

[kaylee0nichole]

help help help. i wanna guard your life.... omg....

[fordchick1985]

Greatest. Mullet. Ever.

[theRoseofmyheart]

what made this come into my mind and then search for it on youtube? the brain is a strange and fascinating organ