How far is too far?

http://www.chastity.com
Jason Ever discusses how couples can know "how far is too far?" in terms of physical affection.

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• jason evert
• chastity
• how far is too far
• dating

[Stillcantstopmenow12]

The logic is that every guy who has sex with a girl before marriage is manipulating her? What the hell is this? How sexist is this to assume that the girl has no choice in the matter, that she is only a slave to what a man says that she can not think for herself? And to think that every guy who has sex with a girl before marriage is just using her? Really? There's both strong physical and mental attraction, I can agree that you should atleast wait for the mental attraction to occur.

[zone815]

Turnabout is fair play? I'm down with that. So if it's fine with me that my girlfriend's had premarital sex, it's all good.

[mihoda]

@TimOvrlrd

What Jason is doing is making a connection between *all* premarital sexual relationships and manipulation. Which is disingenuous.

Instead of informing his charges about good (premarital) relationships and bad relationships he is holding up a bad relationship and saying, "see, you shouldn't do this, so don't have sex before marriage." He is using a cherry-picked example to draw a questionable conclusion instead of teaching kids about relationships.

Which is sad. Very sad.

[TimOvrlrd]

@mihoda I understand that, but that's not his point.

[TimOvrlrd]

@mihoda then don't take it too far, or people can be spiritually, emotionally, and even physically hurt.

[TimOvrlrd]

@mihoda that you have no intention of marrying. I've also had my dad say that if it turns me on, maybe it's time to back away a little. The arguement for that is that if you are an animal, which ultimately you are, you have instincts. These are hard to curb. I know this first hand. It takes self-control to make sure that you are doing something that you'll regret or could lead to something else that you'd regret. In the end, we reach the conclusion that if we want to have a relationship,

[TimOvrlrd]

@mihoda first, Jason is not a pastor. He is married and Catholic making it impossible for him to be laity other than a deacon. Second, the point he is making is that they are manipulating a woman that they have no intention of marrying or if they do it's unrealistic. I'd love it if ten years from now I was happily married to the girl I'm seeing now, but that's going to take a lot a work (not to say I'm not willing to work at it, but things happen). So he's saying don't manipulate a girl

[mihoda]

@TimOvrlrd

The device in this case is a red herring.Let's have the pastor speak for himself: "That guy is emotionally manipulating your future wife into doing that sexual thing with him... he's just using her." (60 seconds to 120 sec)

That is a big assumption.I had plenty of relationships, they weren't permanent, but it wasn't one person taking advantage of another. It was for the most part two kids madly in love (and occasionally lust) who had no intentions of a permanent relationship.

[mihoda]

@TimOvrlrd

If something in your significant other's past is so bothersome to you, *don't marry them*! It's that easy!

Personally, I don't hold my wife's past relationships against her. Nor does she hold mine against me. Isn't that cool? It's like we care about one another or something.

[TimOvrlrd]

@mihoda I disagree.  He's not appealing to our human jealousy; he's appealling to our conscience. Do you want to mess around with somebody, but not let your spouse to do the same? He's also a teacher. He uses devices like any teacher would.

[mihoda]

Ever notice that explanations of sin and religion almost always hinge on bad metaphors or out of context comparisons?

Heaven forbid you use say, a rational argument to deter people from sex. No. We have to appeal to jealousy, sin, and construed notion of "purity."

Hint to the girls and boys in the audience: Your value is not in your sexuality but your humanity. People telling you that your value to yourself and others is your sex life, are out to lunch.

[thestarfish6393]

@DSKTJewl do you have a kindergarten education? your spelling is...shocking. sorry just saying