Answer Me by THE SMITHS OF MADDISTON (2007)

Another track from those Smiths of Maddiston chappies: a love song. Singer Maurice E Stevens says it only stands to reason that Morrisey's group should change their name to "The Smiths Of Manchester" claiming that it would make them look less arrogant. "We certainly don't try to say we're the only Smiths in the world. It could get very silly very quickly if we all did that."
The lyrics have been endlessly analysed and criticised by academics. According to Sigmond Fridge, "I really just don't see the point: the other person is obviously deaf or possibly foreign. It seems - if he is to be believed - that the song's protagonist has done everything to enunciate a response to his declaration of unrequitted love. The object of his advances remains blissfully unaware. In my opinion he should learn brail and try that. I look forward to hearing the next song, which I suggest should be entitled, 'Thanks for answering me, sorry I didn't realise you were deaf because you lipread so well.'. I would certainly go out and buy that if it were released as a single."
Simon Prowl scoffs at this, saying, "She's dead in my opinion. That explains her silent stares. The narrator is probably aware of this at a subconscious level and is trying to adapt to the macabre new circumstances. I don't know how she died, but if you asked me to lay bets, I'd go for suicide, as I was beginning to harm myself during the second verse before a lady-person took my razor off me, the cow."
Marc Karl dismisses this: "As anyone can see, the song is a metaphor for the exploitation of the underclass by a dominating upper class who give all appearance of listening to their pleas for better conditions without ever intending to give a response. It's a more subtle form of oppression and I congratulate the Smiths Of Maddiston for bringing this to people's attention."
Will Shelf disagrees: "I don't think the message ever passes the protagonist's lips: he wants to declare his love so much that he comes to believe that he has actually done it and convinces himself that he is now awaiting a response as he is in complete denial at his own patheticness. I believe that this is quite common."
Feminist Geranium Gruyere laughed this off: "Only a man could blame the woman for his suffering because he hasn't got the courage to ask a simple question. Putting all the blame on the women is typical, and one day it'll go too far and we'll all become lesbians. I know I have. I've already opened a shelter for homeless lesbians - I can guarantee you a roof over your head, though we're short on beds. But I wouldn't object to a couple of the leaner ones sleeping with me....."
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[RoShamBohhh]

Again, I say.... Brill !