Fire Marshal Fails to Censor Art

Fire Marshal Adheres to "Don't Tell; don't ask" Policy
An actual conversation:
John Smith timidly approached the Fire Marshal (FM) for a bonfire permit.
FM: "What is the purpose of this bonfire?"
Smith hesitatingly replied "Uh, for a party." Notice that he did not specify the artistic purpose of the party.
FM:"Is the wood dry?" (Notice that he did not ask if the steel parts of the piano, the oxidizer, fireworks, or gasoline were all dry.)
Replying honestly, Smith was able so say, "Yes, sir, the wood is well seasoned."
FM:"Any trash?"
"No, sir." Smith was starting to enjoy this game.
Then the FM demanded to know when the so-called bonfire would be lit, and was incensed at Smith's answer. "You can't start that late."
Smith didn't know what to say. The fireball would be over in a few seconds, but by the Clinton "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, he couldn't say that. As his face crumpled with tears over this blow to the innovative art community, and he became conflicted with rage over the unjust censorship, he tried stammering a question about special exemptions. But the FM softened his stance, asking if it would be possible to start earlier.
Smith brightened visibly, intensely relieved, and said, "Oh yes! Of course! We can light it at 9:00 pm."
"Just make sure that you notify dispatch before igniting your 'bonfire'." the FM said, signing the permit. "They sometimes flare up a bit when you first light them, you know."
"Um, yes, I guess they do," replied Smith.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• piano
• fire