The Haley Joel Osment Friendship Song

This is the song about what it would be like if Haley Joel Osment attended Keene State College and was my best friend. Masterpiece.

Lyrics:
If Haley Joel Osment went to my school,
do you think he'd know my name?
Would he want to be friends? Would he think I was cool?
Or would he think I'm lame?
Would he hang in the music department?
Would we play the piano; sing some duets,
and then walk over to the athletic fields
and watch the mountain sunset?
And what if the day was Wednesday?
Would Haley Joel Osment go to the DC
and eat curly fries and chicken patties?
Man, wouldn't live just be easy?
He could sit with me in all my classes;
We'd goof off. I'd write little notes that say,
"Hey Haley, whatcha doing later?
Let's go out! It's Thirsty Thursday."
And if Haley was my lab partner,
I just hope that we would have chemistry.
And if Haley lived in my building,
I hope he'd be in the room next to me.
Cause it's Haley and Jess, what a duo!
Haley Joel Osment and I, what a pair.
Hand in hand we could walk around campus;
full of joy while people would stop and stare!
And if Haley Joel Osment and I were best buddies,
I don't think that we would ever fight
cause I'd never say to him, "I see dead people"
in the middle of the night.
We could take facebook pictures together
and eat cheesey bread at one in the morning
and we'd laugh all the time and be happy
and he could hug me without warning.
And if Haley and I went to Cumby's,
would he get a 79 cent slushy?
If I asked him to buy me some cheese doodles,
would he think I was being too pushy?
I would never judge him for the bad things he's done
like getting arrested for smoking some weed.
We could go to Brin's house and watch "A Goofy Movie"
(with Dani and Jennie and Zach and the whole gang!)
but I'd be his only need.
If we decided to go on a road trip,
just Haley and I on the open road
putting miles behind us in my van of dreams,
we could go wherever we wanted to go,
cause the sky would be our only limit
and the horizon would never end.
Oh my life would be full of incessant joy
if Haley Joel Osment was my best friend...

Alas, I've never met Haley Joel Osment.
The boy doesn't even attend Keene State.
The boy is a star. He's above me by far.
Having him as a friend would be a test of fate.
Ah, but wouldn't it be beautiful
if the world was the same as my dreams?
If the days flew on by, only Haley and I?
Oh how wonderful that would be
if the years flew on by with just Haley and I...
Oh Haley Joel Osment and me.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Haley Joel Osment
• Jess Mahoney
• song
• best friends
• Keene State College
• music
• chicken patty wednesday

[AndThePizza]

Aaah that's so excellent! I hope you're not just lying to me. But if what you say is true, I'm so glad and I hope he doesn't think I'm a raging creeper. Truthfully, I just got bored in class one day. However, if he's totally down for it, I wouldn't mind it if he wanted to be my best friend.

[AndThePizza]

Pay It Forward. That's the name of a movie that Haley Joel Osment starred in. That's also what everyone has to do. Show this video to three friends and start a chain reaction so eventually Haley will see this and then become my best friend.

[FreddieHighmoreLove]

No no lol I'm not lying

Yeah sure he'd probably be your best friend and lol you could say "I see dead people" to him all you want

When I say it he just kisses my nose :]

I don't know if he'd do the same to you though lol

[FreddieHighmoreLove]

You are very cute I showed Haley this yesterday aha he thinks it's extraordinary I'm his friend :P he's not as great as your song thinks lol

[mariojacksonmoonwalk]

BEST SONG EVER!

Love your cousin Mike

[SonicthePikmin]

Dear Cousin, You truly do have a talent for these kind of things. Although it might have been overkill, I would have added a verse in which you bring him to a Mahoney family party and tries Grandma's Swedish Meatballs, and meets all of us cousins whom you say by name. But as I said...overkill. But a very good job, spot on. Who knows maybe H.J.O. will see this and want to meet you, like that girl who cried because she loved Justin Bieber except you're not lame. Love Your Cousin, Kyle :)