Blur 13

I basically spent every free moment with Ryan. Charlotte and David were with us half a day, and it would be just me and Ryan for the rest of the day. Those days passed too fast. Laughing, laughing, and then realising that another day is gone, and then another, and another. Before i knew it, I was lying under the stars in Ryan's arms, on my last day. It was near 2:00 a.m. I'd snuck out of my window and checked that my mom was asleep on the bed and my dad on the couch before creeping out of the window and making my way, hand in hand with Ryan to a near-by beach. I watched the stars, visible, for once without the light pollution turning the sky brown. We stayed there until near sunrise, awake and aware that time was being spent quickly. ~
We left the beach when the sun was starting to rise. I didn't feel tired. At all. I wished i was; it would make me too drowsy to think about the fact that i won't be seeing Ryan again. I wouldn't be able to hold his hands anymore. Or breathe his scent. Or touch his hair. See his eyes. Feel his kiss.
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from bursting into tears as i climbed the old oak tree in front of my house into my window. I'd done that every night since i heard the news. Spending every spare moment with the three people i would give so much to stay with. I kept my sad eyes on Ryan's descending back, as he walked into the sunrise.
I quietly changed into my pjs, and messed up my hair to make it seem like i had a bed head for when my mom will wake me up, in about a half an hour. I picked up the pictures on my nightstand of me, charlotte, david, and a couple of new ones of ryan, and stared at them. They were the only characters in my empty room, besides the bed, the nightstand, and the ratty old suitcase lying open on the floor. Everything else was white. The carpet. The walls. The era. Blank. Blurred. They were the only reality i was feeling, and they were about to evaporate in an hour when i set off for Hamilton. I looked around the room. My room. The door. The door that i'd slammed and sunk down into whenever i had to break down. My door. The walls. The walls I'd begged to paint, and the walls that i'd marked my height on every year. The markings that my mom laboured hours on scrubbing off, because i'd re-traced them in permanemt marker right after she told me she'd clean it. There were still dim numbers and faded paint around those parts of the walls. My walls. I closed my eyes and dug into the smeared blankets as i heard footsteps approaching my door. I saw through the thin sheet my mom's head peeking in and sighing as she began to wake me up. I tried to blink and squint and look disoriented as she shook me, assuming that i'd just slept seven hours, when i really hadn't had sleep in about three days.
There was so much I'd give for this day to go away.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Logan
• Lerman
• Blur
• Thirteen
• 13
• Story