carman's witch invitation

One peaceful afternoon I picked up from my mailbox the strangest looking letter I'd ever seen, a chilling little envelope bordered with flying bats, and eerie serpents whose eyes were tinted green. The letter was addressed to me so as I opened it I froze. What I read turned my complexion three shades of blue. It said, 'My name is Isaac Horowitz. I'm a male witch, a warlock and I feel I need to spend some time with you.'

Now as a Christian from a little church with God's call on my life, a man of faith and power with a challenge to grow I did what any saint would do in my situation. I tore it up said, 'Lord, no way I'm gonna go.' Then gently and methodically the Holy Spirit spoke and reminded me we're God's voice to our nation. It's the church's responsibility to witness, so reluctantly I accepted this witch's invitation.

He had the house you'd expect, the old English cottage, a 'Nightmare on Elm Street' special right to the core, the overgrown ivy, the gate that creaked when opened, somehow you'd expect Freddy to answer this door. The doorbell rang, a hollow gong, the knob twisted then opened, and Isaac stood before me with a grin. His jet black hair and well trimmed beard flowed with his black silk clothes. My skin crawled as he said, 'Please come on in.'

His house was filled with every occultic symbol you could fathom; Hanging pentagrams and horoscope signs, a Ouija board and dungeons and dragons game set on the table, a crystal ball with an incandescent shine. Then graciously he handed me some steaming herbal tea. Its presence caused my memory to jog...I thought of every horror flick I'd seen when I was a kid and thought 'man if you drink this stuff next day you'll be a frog.'

Then he led me to a high backed chair as he meticulously began to unfold his scenario with evil patience. I was given a giant leather bound book jammed with newspaper clippings, thus the reason for this witch's invitation. With eagerness he pointed to each article with pride. He said, 'I healed this woman through a Babylonian chant; You see this man, I cured him while performing druid worship; I was paid to curse this man with AIDS by his aunt.'

On and on, page after page, delightfully he flaunted each incident for an hour without a breath. He said, 'Do you realize through my understanding of the dark regions that I can make you rich or even curse someone to death?' I sat literally intimidated by his immensity in demon power while his face shone with a satanic arrogant bliss. Then placing his hands on the arms of my chair and leaning into my face he said, 'What can your God do to compete with this?'

I knew then how Moses felt, when his rod turned to a serpent and the three Egyptian magicians did the same. It's as if you're sitting there in that stunned moment while your faith gets violated and all you feel is weak, powerless and lame. I desperately and deeply prayed saying, 'Jesus give me wisdom - I don't want to put you through some foolish test. Then a shaft of light shot through my soul igniting my eyes with fire. God stood me up and I threw the book back in his chest.

I said 'Isaac, I'll not compare God's miracles versus Satan's - the issue's not God's kingdom and Satan's lair. The real comparison is the condition of your soul and the condition of mine, and you puppet of the devil, that I will compare. I said, My friend, one day they're coming for you - the soft associates in your incantations - the friendly demons you think you now control. The time will come when you'll be lying in bed wheezing like a dying animal and those spirits lay claim to the rights they own to your soul.'

'Then the room will grow dark, and the most hideous evil faces you ever seen will come flaming out of the floor with a yell! The vile informants that promised reincarnation will claw your spirit and victoriously drag your soul to hell!'

Then I grabbed the book and said, 'In that moment which mantra, which incantation you gonna chant to tell them to leave you alone? I said, My friend, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what I would say...'I'm bought with the blood of Jesus! Let me go!' '

I said, 'Isaac, when you tossed that book in my lap, you gloated with a sinister victory. You rejoiced when you saw your name in black and white. Now I rejoice, but not that your counsel of demons are subject to Jesus, but that my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life!' Then Isaac jumped up from his chair and screamed, 'You must leave now!' I said, 'I will, but one last obligation - Next time think twice before you rumble with a man of God!!! And by the way thanks for your.. uhh... witch's invitation.

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Music

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• carman's
• witch
• invitation

[rodgwag1]

I love Carmen for telling the truth.

[ccc530]

This was a dramatization of a true event involving a well known Evangelist in the '80's.

The message is clear: The only thing that matters is the condition of your soul. One day EVERY knee WILL bow and EVERY tongue WILL confess that Jesus is LORD to the glory of God. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But one day, you will. (But if it's after you die the first time, it will be too late; for then, you will die the 2nd death).

[Keovar]

Wow, what a load of batshit-crazy propaganda.

If christianity has anything to fear from D&D or other fantasy media it's just that such things might clue people in to the fact that magic is FICTION.

Incidentally, I've heard this crap before, but at the time I didn't realize just how 'Jersey he sounds.

[Spartan69139]

@MrVictorPhoenix I'm not really religious or an atheist, but jesus. DnD! Granted, this was the 80s. But man. DnD, being evil.

[MathisPrettyHard]

I literally thought this was comedy. I can't believe grown adults still believe in stupid fairytale bullshit like this.

[AdamNYable]

@ceilingotaku That sounds more late 80s to me

[ceilingotaku]

I am a Christian.

I understand this videos' message.

I still laughed like an idiot. That 70s synth and holy cow ahahahaha. This hasn't aged well at all.

[Verac1ty]

I laughed so hard at this,

[MrVictorPhoenix]

@justinmelick Actually I will try another how about the fact that god lied to eve? God is the first deceiver. For he told Adam; "Genesis 2:17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." then Adam told eve about it apparently not god. And then the third talking thing Eve ever encounters tells her differently, hmm. God Lies and Serpent tell her the truth. So which one is evil.

[MrVictorPhoenix]

@ccc530 Lulz,

[MrVictorPhoenix]

@Spartan69139  So did I

[Spartan69139]

I lost it when I saw a dungeons and dragons book.