How To Avoid Doing the Thanksgiving Dishes

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Are you the one scraping sticky marshmallowed yams and congealed gravy off the dishes every Thanksgiving? Shame someone else into doing it this year.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Thanksgiving dinner guests
Dirty dishes
A fake cast for your arm (optional)

Step 1: Single out targets

When discussing who will bring what, single out your targets—the guests who can't cook—and say, "How about bringing a dish towel? I could really use some help with the dishes this year."

Step 2: Post a list of duties

Post a master Thanksgiving list—in a very visible location—that shows whose duty is what. Use a larger font for the dishwashers so everyone knows who's on KP duty.

Tip: Not comfortable asking guests to do the dishes? Before they arrive, put on a fake arm cast. Be vague about what happened, but say the doctor told you not to get it wet.

Step 3: Express gratitude at table

At the table, ask your guests to share what they're thankful for. When it's your turn, pause dramatically before expressing your profound gratitude for Aunt Henrietta and cousin Mabel, who have graciously offered to do the dishes.

Tip: Monitor the alcohol consumption of your designated dishwashers—you don't want them so tipsy that they break your good china.

Step 4: Hire help

As a last resort, hire help. Check bulletin boards for people who'd prefer making money to eating turkey.

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• thanksgiving
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[Johndoe024]

So if everybody watches this video, who the fuck is going to do the dishes?

[bks1366]

Every single Thanksgiving, about 40 relatives come to my house to eat. I cook the food, spending at least $200 on everything, consuming my whole week. In return, I get people breaking their necks to get outside; so they don't have to do the fucking dishes. THANKS howcast, for giving them FUCKING tips.

[greenpie891]

i never have to do the dishes on thanksgiving we go to my cusins house and since 36 other people so we just usse paper plates

[xxdiogenescynicxx]

Use paper plates. I'm ghetto as fuck so yeah that's what I use.

[NullZer0]

Oprah? Really? I will take my Granny instead, who can cook the pants off of anyone, and is a sweetheart to boot!

[uhavemooface]

this shit is too funny. We are so lazy we have how to cast to show people how to be even more lazier. This is what our nation has come to. Lazy ass people. Oh wait a minute I am one of them lazy assholes.

[HaydenBlakeShow]

@Zak7565 rite!

[Zak7565]

Cool, my country doesnt have thanksgiving.

[Zak7565]

@HaydenBlakeShow HAHA

[HaydenBlakeShow]

DID ANYONE NOTICE HE HAS A DISH WASHER 0:11

[TheSnowyice]

This is so stupid. It takes like ten seconds for one person each to load a few their own dishes into the dish washer. If everyone did that there wouldn't be one person having to round up like a gazillion of them, then having to spend a butt load of time washing them all. Stop being selfish and actually be grateful this person slaved over a hot stove all day to cook a meal for you. Gosh! T_T

[mattJT87]

Just say u have to take a major shit. works everytime :)