How I Became a Mass Murderer Without Even Trying

When the feds come for my girlfriend, her phone's voicemail inbox is going to become exhibits A-Q. 'Cause you just know she doesn't delete anything she receives.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• cuba
• tank
• explosion
• voicemail
• phone
• message
• bra
• tragedy
• murder
• helicopters
• gunfire
• rebel
• soldiers
• swat
• speedboats
• airplanes
• crash
• police
• car
• accident

[theScorpion87]

1:39 Got the same poster with bus to Croydon and Big Ben in my room :D

Greetings from the UK!

[bfirenzi]

@theScorpion87 Actually, that's a painting Maria made, not a poster.

[RoldanIncorporated]

2 weeks later

"Maria i need you help! The US sent the navy to claim cuba after in collapsed, they have a battle ship shelling us, your father was in the navy right? Tell me how to get rid of that ship

Next message

"Ok maria i took control of the battle ship, we got the guns to work but i dont know how to drive this thing. Ask your dad to help me please!

next message

Ok maria space aliens are attacking, you know Duke Nukem right? Tell me how to stop them!

[ygborgo]

Maria knows her stuff

[hopper11995]

Fucking love it

[dotzlerpsn]

that is fucking amazing

[leohurr]

she is so fucking boring

[Blammeth]

Dude i wish i had a girlfriend like maria...

[Nathanjabaar]

This chick must be assasin for her to have the abililty to know all the stuff hes she knows.

[BleedingEnglish]

Sounds like Brian's become the Gordon Freeman of murdering people and hijacking their shit.

[InYourFaceSpongebob]

Sounds like "Nonikan" in the end! xD