Selective Mutism - How to help and how NOT to help

I hope this video is informative to anyone who wants to help someone with SM. Please leave any thoughts or questions in comments and I will do my best to answer. Thanks for watching.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• selective
• elective
• mutism
• child
• quiet
• won't
• doesn't
• talk
• speak
• at
• school
• help
• talking
• tips
• chat

[gvgpvs]

Part 2 : I am just wondering is it a good idea for me to keep sending her to 7 hour school knowing she is feeling left out there? Should i take a year off and homeschool her until she develops confidence? Also, what is so confusing for me is ,she seems to like school even though she is feeling anxiety there. Do you think you can explaing this contradiction? Thank You so much for your help and i sincerely pray for your happiness and courage.

[0Whydontutalk0]

@gvgpvs Part 1: Hi, I think your daughter appears happy at school because she isn't talking and she doesn't know it's a problem if she doesn't. When I was 5 I was quite oblivious to the fact that people need to talk in life, so I was fine as I was until other people started telling me it was "wrong". It's when you get nearer to 9 or 10 years old it starts to bother you, because you are gaining awareness of friendship groups and being invited places etc. Then it starts to hurt :(

[0Whydontutalk0]

@gvgpvs Part 2 I don't know if homeschooling will help with the confidence, as she would be removed from the situation where she needs to develop it. You would need to face a fear to get confidence over it, and staying at home would just hide from it so I don't think that's the best way. The reason she is looking happy is because she is not talking and that controls her fear. Hope that helped :)

[xD3REKx]

I am a Kindergarten teacher with a student who has SM. I want so badly to help her, so thanks for your video. I know that my student is a bright girl, but I don't know how to test her knowledge of letters, sounds, and sight words without her talking or at least whispering to me. I have started a small reward system that only she & I know about to try to encourage her to participate in class. Do you think this is OK?

[0Whydontutalk0]

@xD3REKx Hi, thanks for watching and for caring about SM. I am not sure as everyone with SM is different. For me that would not have worked, as I may have wanted the reward, but speaking to get it would be too scary. Taking the expectation to talk away was the main help for me. I guess you can just wait and see if she responds to it, and if not you will know that is making her more scared. Would she be more comfortable recording herself reading at home or something? Good luck :)

[citymouse40]

@citymouse40 *educating 

[citymouse40]

@gvgpvs I felt the same way, I often still do! But the reality is that what they really need is the right treatment to help them overcome their SM, keeping them away from social situations will only teach them to avoid. I did homeschool one year, mostly because I was overwhelmed and tired of education new teachers every year on SM etc. it didn't change his confidence, sure he was more comfortable at home, but that's it.

[citymouse40]

@citymouse40 Parents, you child with SM needs to have an IEP or 504 plan at school and they need help to overcome their SM, the younger the better. The older the get, the harder it is but it is still possible. We are starting our treatment plan finally, I had to travel half way across the country to a specialist to get the help my son needed. Advocate for your child, fight for them if you have to, tell anyone who will listen about SM, spread the knowledge, it may help another child.

[citymouse40]

@citymouse40 Thank you for posting the video and for talking about your experience. I wish all schools would become as educated in SM as they are in Autism. It's sad when a child goes through years being undiagnosed, facing their biggest fear 7hrs a day and no one understands them.

[citymouse40]

@citymouse40 My son has SM, he is 12, it has been a very long and difficult road trying to find help, trying to get the schools to understand etc. In our case, it seems that most teachers have never heard of SM, I've had to educate so many and there will always be people who just don't get it and are unwilling to be helpful, people who will say that SM isn't real, that it's stubbornness etc. It's very frustrating to deal with this kind of ignorance.

[citymouse40]

To parents and teachers, it is important that the child doesn't feel pressured to talk, rewarding for speaking most likely won't work, it's the same as trying to bribe them to speak which will only make them feel more pressure and increase the anxiety further shutting them down. It is very important that the child is seen by a professional who knows how to treat selective mutism and who has success treating it.

[gvgpvs]

Your reply made so much sense to me. It is so nice that you are helping out other children who have SM by sharing your story courageously. I sincerely wish and pray for happiness, courage and peace and in your life.