Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci perform a rap about douchebags. Here are the LYRICS:
We roll into the bar cause thats how we do
Garfunkel, Oates and the rest of the crew
Gi...
Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci perform a rap about douchebags. Here are the LYRICS:
We roll into the bar cause thats how we do Garfunkel, Oates and the rest of the crew Give a dollar to my homegirl and watch that bitch go she Hits up the juke box and puts on Jim Croce Operator, can you help me make this call?
Were laughing and talking and the drinks are flowing Im the liking the direction this night is going But then I look up and something has changed Everyone around us looks fucking deranged
I look to my left, I look to my right Nothing but Von Dutch hats in sight With supertight abs and supertan skin I swear this aint the club that I walked in
Then the techno music starts to play And the room smells like Axe body spray Im like Golda Mier with no gold in my ear Please tell me what the hell happened here
Yo it aint pretty but you know its the truth This party just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche For the motherfuckin douche Thought it was a perfect party Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy This party just took a turn for the douche
I guess I cant beat em so Im gonna join em Need some douche phrases and Im gonna coin em Put my Bluetooth in and Im on my way Gonna be a mother fuckin douchebag today
Gonna groom my beard like a bonsai tree Wax off my chest like Mr Miyagi Get a Chinese tat, dont know what it means But it makes me look deep to girls in their teens
Dont need sleeves on my shirt, just rip em off And leave em exposed like Bernie Madoff Fake tan so brown you can call me foxy Gonna pop my collar like Limbaugh pops oxy
Got more chains than Mr. T I pity the fuckwad who messes with me Cause Im doin roids til my balls get teeny Like Dennis Quaid in Innerspace, up inside the weenie
Gettin crunk on brewskis with my broskis Im cooler than Ice cube wearing snow skis Sweeter than the life of Zach and Cody Higher than the voice of Truman Capote
Yeah Ill drop a G for a bottle of Goose This party just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche For the motherfuckin douche Thought it was a perfect party Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy This party just took a turn for the douche
Were an army in the night like Norman Mailer And its time to be a tool like my name is Tim Taylor Im a VIP cause my table said so Im a use some Rufees cause the skank said no
I like my hair like I like my girls drink SPIKED as fuck!!!
Did my last keg stand like General Custer And Im assessin the damage like a claims adjuster I aint your Daddy but Ill call you son Yeah I get metaphysical like fuckin John Donne
Im holdin up the beats like I was Lloyd Dobbler Girls are on the dance floor shakin their cobbler Im Cool like LL, fly like Jeff Goldblum Im gonna find the biggest ho in this room
Girls wax is Brazilian, her manicures French Jean Nate is her signature stench She got rocks on her fingers and beneath her areolas Her gardens more savage then ch ch cherry colas
Her heels are as clear as my intentions to bang her Hope shes birth controlled like Margaret Sanger Gonna Boner Stabbone her, Mike Seaver her Beaver Take her gold for cash then mother fuckin leave her
I aint in love w you cousin I aint George Michael Bluth This party just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche For the motherfuckin douche Thought it was a perfect party Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy This party just took a turn for the douche
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"Gettin crunk on brewskis with my broskis, cooler than Ice Cube wearing snowskis" equal parts Big Boi and MC Paul Barman. Hard combo to pull off. Impressive
You two ladies are awesome. Thanks for posting your feelings of douche-i-ness. I had been a victim for douche for years until I quit one of my jobs. I feel your rants. Thanks for your time, and rhymes, biatches!
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xD
Nice Jack in the Box hat, by the way.
1/5