Cover of I Am a Rock (Dartfrog99)

The story contained herein is fictional. Attempts to replicate this action at home may result in severe injury or death, for which the musician will not be responsible.

ORIGINAL LYRICS BY PAUL SIMON:
A winter's day, in a deep and dark December;
I am alone.
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow,
I am a rock, I am an island.

I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock, I am an island.

Don't talk of love, well I've heard the word before;
It is sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock, I am an island.

I have my books, and my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock, I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.


PARODY LYRICS:
A winter's day, in a deep and dark December.
My stomach groans.
Shuffling from the bedroom, to the kitchen door,
I didn't see it lying on the floor:
I kicked a rock, I broke my toenail!

It was the rock I found on our vacation.
I lugged it to the Subaru.
Then back home in Seattle, I lugged that rock inside,
If I never lugged, I never would have cried:
I kicked a rock, I broke my toenail!

I punched walls, with curses deep and mighty,
Then hopped back to the bedroom,
Where I disturbed the slumber of Tina, still in bed,
She jumped and asked "What's happening?" and I said:
I kicked a rock, I broke my toenail!

And a rock feels no pain.
And my toenail's turning black.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• I Am a Rock
• Simon and Garfunkel
• Paul Simon
• parody
• I Kicked a Rock
• spoof
• Marc Hoffman
• guitar
• sixties
• folk rock

[Vleatles]

LOL priceless!