Rudolf gets realz

I learn the hard truth about that fateful foggy Christmas Eve.
(language)


"Let me tell you the real story about Rudolf the red nose reindeer. Yes he's a funny little fella and had a whole lotta brothers, female and male. But he was different. His nose was different. His nose was red as sh*t. Also, they know this, his parents put this black a** thing on his nose so nobody would see he had a red nose. One day it was time to get in line to start jumpin to see who was ready to drive Santa's sleigh/sled on Christmas eve night. So when rudolf's turn came he jumped and jumped and jumped like a popsicle angel. Santa claus was furious...excited...and boy did Rudolf let his nose run. Rudolf came down for the for the last time stepped back bam popped off his nose and all of a sudden all hell broke lose his nose shine like the lightning bulb with the furnace on fire. Santa claus jumped back and jumped out of his suit and said OH hell no you ain't driving my sled. Where the hell you get that nose from?! You know I'm sorry Rudolf but you can not drive my sled. I'm sorry Rudolf's mother and father but your dog can not drive my sled because of that nose. I'm sorry, I know I'm precious of him but he can't drive my d*mn sleigh tonight. Yeah, not only that, all Rudolf's brother and sister reindeers turned against him and they didn't want him to play with them because his nose was red. That's the whole nut in a nutshell about the American Christmas eve of Rudolf the red nose reindeer. Until Santa Clause got his fat a** in a fix and he couldn't see because of the d*mn fog. His little fat jolly a** couldn't see sh*t so he came to Rudolf 'Rudolf, please Rudolf with your nose so red will you guide my sled tonight?'

'HELL no I ain't gonna guide your sled tonight' come on ya fat buck get outta my face...besides that ain't what happened."

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Christmas
• Rudolf the red nose reindeer
• ramblings of dishwasher.