Would it matter?

This is a bad video overall. the timing on a lot of the parts is off because even on the lowest preview quality on Vegas those parts would lag and I couldn't fix them. Bits and pieces of it are good, I rather like the Sandshadow bit, I didn't even plan on having that in there. Sandshadow makes me do things like that a lot. She doesn't like being left out either.

Made because I've been feeling kinda worthless lately. School sucks, and I can hardly talk to most of my friends outside of school anymore. I act like it doesn't get to me and keep pretending I'm the same but I'm not. I feel like I'm losing my mind, that fine line between reality and my imagined world is blurring. When I'm not reduced to talking to the characters that come out of my own head I imagine what the world be like if I didn't exist. The only change? The lives of everybody I know are better without me in them.

I absolutely hate myself, I'm not good at anything I enjoy doing and even though it is about a year or so from now I'm concerned about my SAT and college and whatnot. I'm honestly a very stupid person and I know I'll never pass and never get into college or get a job outside of the fast food industry. My SAT prep class does nothing except make me feel less confident about it then I already was. Like a couple days ago we did a practice essay and we had the whole class period to write it. You know how much I got done? TWO PARAGRAPHS each one was around three or four sentences. Everybody else had a page and a half, I had used barely a quarter of a page, because I couldn't think of anything to write. I'm so utterly hopeless. And now here I am talking to the frakking internet because I have nobody else I can/want to talk to about this.

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[Leafpool2]

@FelicianoKittyChan I don't know, the therapist (don't know what else to call them) I see sometimes says things will get better but they seem to just get worse as time goes on. I can't usually manage to make/keep friends because I have 0 social skills, I've always stayed at my school because my friends were there but now theres nothing left for me there. I'll miss a couple of my teachers but that's about it. God I sound emo, but I'm not. I'm going to stop talking now.

[Leafpool2]

@44Jeanette44 I never thought it necessary to bother you with my problems

[flamestripe1234]

@Leafpool2,U ARENT WORTHLESS NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN(plz)

[Leafpool2]

I appreciate the thought but if you knew in real life you would be calling me a freak just like everybody else.

[flamestripe1234]

Btw leafpool,i would NEVER call u or anyone a freak i am called all kinds of things but i never back down i barely cry even though i want to my life which has only been 11 years is as hard as hell but i never quit trying i am an A student who is about to get a 4 year scholorship but behind all that i am a meek little kid who wants to curl up in bed and die but i never stop trying i hope you dont either plz dont

[FelicianoKittyChan]

Sandshadow, I know I'm just one of those "Internet friends" of yours, but honestly.... You can talk to me. I always try my best to be there when my friends need me. <3

If you ever want to talk to someone, I'll be here. :3

Sure, life may suck right now, but you know what I've found? No matter how horrible life can be, it always gets better. It may not happen right away, but it'll always improve, even just a little, eventually.

I really hope that things get better for you. :)

[darkangel199508]

aw don't feel bad everyone goes through this.. i've been struggling with german class and i feel like i won't be able to pass, but my family tries to help me study and get better. your not alone

[44jeanette44]

You have nobody else to talk to? Hello, you have me! I'm not some random online person you've never met--I've kind of been your best friend for 7 years. Call me. Text me. Grab me on Google Talk. I won't know what to say at all, but I'm here. This is what friends are for.

[epicfilmclips]

don't be so hard on yourself, alot of people (like me) are feeling the same you do. I know its hard but you have to try and keep yourself together and hope it will be better someday. That is the only thing you can do in this situation.