How to do win-win interpersonal problem-solving

This video outlines one of 7 powerful communication skills described in "Lesson 2" in the nonprofit Break the Cycle!" Web site. The skill is win-win problem solving. Popular alternatives are fighting, arguing, debating, avoiding, hinting, pleading, nagging, demanding, manipulating, and whining. The video ientifies requisites for this skill, and specific steps to do it. For more detail, see http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/ps.htm

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[Manuel Barkhau]

I think the behaviors like fuming, gossip, resentment, manipulation etc. are more likely win lose on some level, because I don't see how they would be so prevalent if they were lose-lose.

[gercacn]

"win" implies the person gets enough of their current communicatrion and other needs met well enough. "Lose" mean the person doesn't. If *effective* communication means both people get their needs met, then the behaviors you describe are usually lose-lose because they damage relationships and self-esteem.. They usually indicate the person is dominated by a false self and doesn't know effectrie communicarion skills

[Manuel Barkhau]

But this is all long term thinking and involves hard work. In the moment, the person has a narrow goal which they can achieve through dominating behavior. For them this is a short term win which may outweigh the long term costs involved, esp. if the costs his own. It's not a win in your terms, but people who are manipulative are not always open to effective win-win communication. So long as domination works for them, they will continue to do it.

[gercacn]

I agree such (wounded, unaware)npeople will continue, unless they hit bottom and chooise to change. This is amplified because they often don't get hoinest feedback (confrontation) about their disrespectful, unempathic communicatrion attitude and behaviors.

[1sanremy]

REMARK / i would add a powerfull and vicious distractor : TV (some people live with TV on from morning to night, what ever they do, and even when they talk to you or to their child...this is sad...