'Alone' poem

Alone

Why do you grow so cold?
Don't you remember the days
You weren't afraid
To show your smile to the world?

Where do you hide your love?
Is it what you might feel,
What wounds will unseal,
That you're so frightened of?

I'm not strong enough to mend alone.
But I'm neither bold, nor brave enough
To say, I'm not OK, on my own.

Which words do you want to say?
When you see my eyes
Fill up with tears,
You turn and walk away.

What goes through your mind?
Do you ever see my face?
The tears take shape?
Or am I lost to time?

I'm not strong enough to mend alone.
But I'm neither bold, nor brave enough
To say, I'm not OK, on my own.

How can I grow so cold?
How can I become just like you?
Vacant through,
Hardened to
The world.

I'm not strong enough to mend alone.
I'm not bold or brave.
I've tried all my life to change.
I'll have to stay, I'll be OK, on my own.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• alone
• society
• depression
• depressed
• mental illness
• mental health
• stigma
• poem
• poet
• poetry

[HahnJames]

This poem reminded me of a bit of wood that gets separated from the fire. It eventually loses its flame and grows cold. When put back into the fire, the coal once again heats up and bursts into flame.

Had I been on that train in Central London, I would have sat next to you and lent you my shoulder to cry on. I've done it before (but not in Central London).

[johnjusthuman]

@HahnJames Thank-you. You're so kind. I wish there more people like you in this world! What a wonderful world it would be! Love your analogy about the wood in the fire! Thanks :)

[baaadpuddytat]

that is so sad. I can see the sadness in your eyes as you recite it. I can tell you really feel what you say. And lastly, I can relate. Very beautiful John. You are a special soul.

[johnjusthuman]

@baaadpuddytat Thank-you Jeni. I wrote this out of frustration really. When I was having a breakdown a few years ago I was on a train in central London and suddenly I began crying hysterically. It was a busy train but everyone quickly moved away and I could hear them talking about me. When I looked up, everyone was staring. I'd never felt so alone.

[baaadpuddytat]

@johnjusthuman That must have been horrible, feeling so alone and essentially rejected. I just can see the pain still in your eyes so I know that must have been a terrible time you were remembering. I am so sorry you had to go through that. It is great that you are good with words and are able to "get it out" through your poetry. I tend to stuff things and then feel even worse. You do it in a more cathartic way. It really was good though.

[johnjusthuman]

@baaadpuddytat Please don't stuff things away and make yourself feel worse Jeni. I'm always here if you're feeling low. Perhaps there is something creative you can do? Next time you're not feeling so good, pick up a pen and paper and just see what words come out and sentences or phrases begin to form? You might surprise yourself Jeni?

[AutotuneGuy]

made me tear up, I'm struggling right now and your vids help. We are alike in a lot of ways.

[2414kellygirl]

Beautiful! I can so relate. You just brought tears to my eyes, tears that have needed to come out for sometime now, so thank you! I suffer from depression and anxiety and have for about 20 yrs now, and I feel so ALONE, yet not BOLD enough to tell people that Im not OK alone. I have completely isolated myself, and I stay in my home most of the time and as much as I hate it, its my safety zone. im sad that im not letting the world see my smile anymore :(, I cant seem to get out of this ALONENESS

[xxSoLovely]

I don't how I came across this video but I'm glad I did. Your poem was beautiful. When you spoke, you reminded me of Ben Whishaw as John Keats in Bright Star. You had that conviction, that authenticity that poets these days seem to abandon in the name of literary revolution. But as Keats said “I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination.” Your words are so powerful because they have heart. I hope you never lose that holiness I see in you.

[viph982]

There is such sadness in your eyes and face. It's a part that I seldomly share with even my closest friends, but I have been writing poems like yours about sadness and loneliness too for a while now. It's difficult for me to hold my tears back hearing your poem. Great work, sad that it came from a dark lonely place. Please email me if you need to express such feelings with a pen pal, you don't have to deal with it alone.

[jaydawg34]

Fantastic!!! The words, emotion, tone of voice, and eyes..."all" spoke. Wow!!! Mental illness is a lonely world no matter how many people around you. I still feel alone even when family & friends say I am not. Hope you make more vids!!! You are so honest, open, warm, creative, and so many other things that shine through in vids. Take care!  :)

[123benny4]

You're not alone ;-)

[xmaster2]

Really beautiful, Jonny. Reminds me of many things, but most of all the frustrations and possible sense of just being "fed-up" with feeling a certain way. Really good. xxx