Avenue Q - The Money Song (2011 Tour)

Note: These lyrics are from the original, unaltered song. They cut a large portion from the Original Broadway Cast's version to make the characters seem less like cutthroats (which counteracts what they do earlier in the show)

Nicky:
Ooh! Hey Princeton!

Give me a quarter!
Here in my hat!
Come on, Princeton!
It's as easy as that!
Helping others brings you
Closer to God.
So give me a quarter...

Princeton:
I don't have any change.

Nicky:
Hmmm....okay.

Give me a dollar.

Princeton:
That's not what I meant.

Nicky:
Give me a five.

Princeton:
Are you kidding?

Nicky:
The more you give.
The more you get.
That's being alive!
All I'm asking you
Is to do what
Jesus Christ would do.
He'd give me a quarter,
Why don't you?

Princeton:
All right, all right, here you go.

Nicky:
Ahh, thanks!

Princeton:
Take care.
Whoa!

Nicky:
What's the matter?

Princeton:
I feel generous!
I feel compassionate!

Nicky:
You do?

Princeton:
Yeah! I feel like a new person - a good person!
Helping other people out makes you feel fantastic!

Nicky:
That's what I've been trying to tell you-

Princeton:
All this time I've been running around thinking
about me, me, me - and where has it gotten me!
I'm gonna do something for someone else!

Nicky:
Me?

Princeton:
No - Kate! I'm going to raise the money to build that
stupid Monster School she's always talking about!

Give me your money!

Nicky:
What?

Princeton:
I need it for Kate!

Nicky:
I need it to eat!

Princeton:
Come on, Nicky!

Nicky:
Aww, get lost!

Princeton:
It'll make you feel great!

Nicky:
So would a burger!

Princeton:
When her dream comes true,
It'll all be partly
Thanks to you
So give me your money!

Nicky:
I'd like to, but I can't.

Princeton:
Give me your money!

Nicky:
I'd like to, but I need it!

Princeton:
Give me your money!

Nicky:
I'd like to, but I'm homeless!
I can't! I need it! I'm homeless!
I can't! I need it! I'm homeless!
I can't! I need it! I'm homeless!
Okay, here you go.

Princeton:
Thank you!

Nicky:
Suddenly,
I am feeling
Closer to God.
It's time to stop begging
It's time to start giving!
What can I give to Rod?

Something he'll like so much he'll take me back.
Ooh, I know! I'll find him a boyfriend!

Princeton:
That's the spirit!

Both:
When you help others,
You can't help helping yourself!
When you help others,
You can't help helping yourself!

Gary Coleman:
Hey boys, what's the hat for?

Nicky:
Ooh, we're collecting money!

Princeton:
It's for Kate! We're raising money to help build her dream school!

Give us your money!

Nicky:
You'll be glad that you did!

Gary Coleman:
That's just what my parents told me
When I was a kid.

Shit.

Nicky:
But giving feels so great...

Gary Coleman:
And I bet it wouldn't hurt
Your chances with Kate.

Princeton:
Well, that too.

Gary Coleman:
I'll give you a dollar.

Princeton:
You're a gentleman
And a scholar.

Christmas Eve:
We so happy! We just exchange all your wedding gifts for cash!

Brian:
Honey, don't tell THEM that!

Christmas Eve:
We get about 2,000 bucks!

Brian:
Uh, yeah, so - thanks, everybody!

Christmas Eve:
We rich!

Princeton:
Give us your money!

Nicky:
Give us your money!

Gary Coleman:
Give us your goddamn money!

Princeton:
Give us the dough!

Nicky/Gary Coleman
Give us the dough!

Princeton/Nicky/Gary Coleman
We're raising money
For a Monster School
But we've got a ways to go.

Princeton:
Sounds like you've
Got money to burn

Nicky:
And it's not like money
That you had to earn.

Princeton/Nicky/Gary Coleman:
So give us your money -

Christmas Eve:
A monster school?

Brian:
Sounds like a good cause.

Christmas Eve:
Give me your wallet.

Princeton:
Oh my gosh! I don't know how to thank you guys.
I mean, Kate will be so grateful!
That kind of money is such a great start...

Gary Coleman:
Yeah, $15.

Princeton:
$15?

Christmas Eve:
Every little bit help.

Nicky:
Looks like we're gonna have to ask MORE people!


All:
Hey!
Give us your money!
All that you've got!
Just fork it on over...

Gary Coleman:
Or some puppets
Will get shot!

Princeton:
Hey!

All:
It's time to pass the hat

Gary Coleman:
And there's nothing you can do 'bout that

All:
So give us your money!
Give us your money!
Give us your money!
When you help others,
You can't help helping yourself!
When you help others,
You can't help helping yourself!
Every time you
Do good deeds
You're also serving
Your own needs.
When you help others,
You can't help helping yourself!
When you give
To a worthy cause
You'll feel as jolly
As Santa Clause.
When you help others,
You can't
Help
Helping yourself!

---

From the March 2nd, 2011 show at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Avenue
• The
• Money
• Song
• 2011
• Tour
• live
• cam
• pantages
• theater

[303Nohbdy]

Wait, they went into the mezzanine?! (Sorry, I've always made my donations in the orchestra section)

[Auien]

@303Nohbdy Yes, I was surprised to see them up there.

[303Nohbdy]

@Auien So, er...how exactly do they do that?

[Auien]

@303Nohbdy I think they just take the stairs up, how else would they get there?

[303Nohbdy]

@Auien Sorry; I meant like do they have members of the ensemble come up with duplicates of Nicky & Princeton or something like that?

[Auien]

@303Nohbdy I was thinking that, but I don't know for sure.

[Dh106mk1]

@Auien On the London show we had the Spare puppets doing the other levels :). hope this helps

[rentobbesion]

One more thing. why dosn't Gary go into the audience? Because Brian and CE do.

[rentobbesion]

I love the riff that Gary does on santa clause

[mcf7021]

the original was better with the extra lyrics

[53tgh1]

Thier voices are to high...

[rautobi]

nicky should open more his mouth when he sings

[muppetlover16]

@SpinneyBigBird1095 Why does Brian look like a hobo? I know he's this tall husky guy, but...he needs a shave

Hey do you know they did this with the original cast, Tyler Bunch would play Brian as for Christmas Eve I'd say Aymee Garcia or Julianne Buescher and for Gary Coleman, Noel MacNeal (a man works better) what do you think SpinneyBigBird1095? sound like a good idea?

[SpinneyBigBird1095]

@Auien Since people in the mezzanine cant see the characters as they walk around the bottom floor, they send ensemble members with the same puppets (Princeton, Nicky, etc.) collecting money, so it seems like they walked right from the stage to you.