JR Celebration Gone to Soon!
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Uploaded by doncer on Oct 26, 2009
This is the anniversary of my Brothers passing on this day he left the Earth & me behind.
On this Day Oct. 21 2006 I lost my reason for life I lost my heart. On this day I boarded a plane to LA from Colorado a routine business trip. On this day in 2006 I received a urgent message from my baby sis that JR had a motorcycle accident & she was heading to the hospital, that night I got the news that my worst nightmare had come to pass. (This Nightmare recurring since Dec. 2000 was about going to a funeral that was attended by family members in Texas including my mom ,I naturally assumed this was my funeral & took everything doctor perscribed to stop theses nightmares for many years; I would suddenly awake in the middle of the night gasping for air having a panic attack feeling as if I had bein punched in the stomach & a pillow wet from tears.The day that followed would always be gloomly & misery for me saddness from a funeral years in the future penetrated my life for my heart was heavy with sorrow). For you see on that day Oct. 21, 2006 I realized the meaning of my recurring nightmares. The reason I had was scared to face, the reason I became a hermit hiding away scared to feel to touch or know anyone. But the 1 person I hoped to protect from my insanity was the 1 person I failed to protect. I live on now with the shame & guilt of failing to live life to the fullest every waking minute. Walking away from life that cannot be lived is worst than living a life alone. I still see my brother in a parrell universe where all things are possible & we laugh like all is good in the hood, & just before a tear drop can fall I awake to find I m still stuck herre!
In Loving Memory
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Well first great song choice and secondly my deepest sympathies on losing your loved one, I know the pain and I wish I didin't but I understand. Lifeis for living and you must go one living the life you have been bleesed with sometimes it seems like just words but in reality it's the truth, our lives are intertwined but meant to live individully, it's all energy so use it in your creativity I do and it helps me mentally, spritually and emotionally. GB man.
chilyn95 2 years ago