The Partisans: A Carol For The Rest Of Us

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Uploaded by on Dec 22, 2011

Offered with real love and affection for our religious brethren--and dedicated to the memory of the late, great, Christopher Hitchens.

Ol' Hitch, of course, would have just hated this video. He was a brilliant man not given to seasonal cheer:

"I absolutely abominate absolutely everything about this season of the year...it's not just that attendance and observance are compulsory and conscripted (though that would be bloody bad enough). It's that ENTHUSIASM is COMPULSORY TOO. You can't just conform and get by. You are always being urged to join in. Of what does this remind me? Of Dear Leader's Birthday in some godawful one-party banana republic or people's democracy, that's what." (The Nation, 1/13/97)

Sounds like fun! Uncompromising genius doesn't take holidays.

But though the world of infidels has lost an intellectual giant, it has a chance to grow and evolve. The shrill atheism voiced by the likes of Hitchens and Dawkins is fine for another generation, but there are plenty of atheists nowadays confident enough in their non-belief that they don't feel like they have to be fucking dicks about it.

So feel free to bow your head in insincere reverence as often as necessary--or hell, possible--this holiday season. Part of being a humanist is loving the weird, weird shit that humans do. Fellow atheist, you probably do all sorts of weird ritualistic shit that seems strange to outsiders and doesn't do anything but make you feel better about stuff--you just call it "line dancing," or "must-see TV," or "moderate opiate use."

As for Hitchens, all this glad-handing would have just pissed him off.

And that's cool, he has no idea this is happening. Because when you die, you're just dead.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

For more satire this political season, like us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ThePartisansComedy
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Written by Andy Cobb & Joshua Funk
Directed by Andy Cobb & Joshua Funk
http://www.twitter.com/andycobb
Produced by Mark Kienlen
Edited by Mark Kienlen & Mike Damanskis
Music by Joshua Funk
Couple: Brian Hunt and Robyn Norris

Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/secondcitynetwk

©2010 The Second City Inc./Andy Cobb

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Top Comments

  • that was disturbingly beautiful

  • < Currently transforming back into a heathen.

Video Responses

This video is a response to The Partisans - Rick Perry - Weak, man.
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All Comments (368)

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  • @lamaddussa So deaf and blind, explain why nsa only released these documents

    last year. If you haven't heard about this story then you are eyes wide shut.

    I suggest you wake up to the lies we are told.

    nsa foia et communications 1957

    type the above into google and take a look at what your government is trying

    to suppress. You certainly don't hear about this on the news now do you?

    but I don't know anything do I?

    Also I suggest people check out the 911 missinglinks website and watch the doc.

  • @lamaddussa And why is that? after doing enough research you see there is a

    world wide zionist conspiracy. Let people decide for themselves.

    Googling false flag terrorism will give people an idea why governments do things to

    their own people. I suppose you think the mk ultra program was a conspiracy.

    Putting people in coffins and letting them die to see the end results and other

    staggeringly horrific things. They were only discovered from accounting records

    because the truth was concealed.

  • @OpalSerpent

    glad you like the palestinians, but you're still a phenomenal ignoramus in regards to history & religion & sweeping racist conspiracy theories.

  • @lamaddussa on the contrary I like everyone else wants the truth. Calling me names is not the truth. I think palestinians rock so I can't be a white supremacist like you make out.

  • @OpalSerpent

    wow. you're so deep into your white supremacist indoctrination that you don't know the first thing about history, reality or religion. but i'm not going to waste my time educating you. you wouldn't be able to think outside of your racist brainwashing anyway. let's just hope you never escape from your montana holdout.

  • @lamaddussa You stupid imbecile. Check out wiki and find that jesus who's real name

    isn't even jesus was infact aramaic and spoke aramaic and lived in nazareth not bethlehem like you probably think thanks to your zionist brain washing. You prove beyond a doubt how retarded you are. Keep sucking that zionist wiener retard.

  • oh my god. Some people are so arrogant and brain washed by main stream zionist media.

    jesus was from nazareth not bethlehem and for gods sake he spoke aramaic and most

    people in nazareth were arabs. Please check out wiki for the evidence. zionists suck.

  • @thestarfish6393 The swastika is derived from Hinduism and is a symbol which represents power. It's really easy to make fun of Christianity - you don't have to make stuff up to strengthen your position.

  • Hitler a devout Catholic? No, but you're a devout ignoranus

    "Per historian Rissmann, young Hitler was influenced by Pan-Germanism, began to reject the Catholic Church, receiving Confirmation only unwillingly...a boyhood friend claimed after Hitler left home he never again attended Mass or received sacraments"

    "[Hitler's] statements present a conflicting picture...somewhat spiritual yet against organized religion"

    No Jew hater can be a Christian, by definition

    D for effort though

  • @carlosperdue sorry, hitler was a devout catholic...you can look it up. the swastika is actually derived from the cross, in fact

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