Daddy You Knew (The Aftermath of a Father's Suicide)

I know the chords are really bad forgive me, I am not a piano player. This is a song about my father, who I lost to suicide March 29, 2010 The lyrics are:

White dress and trailing veil
time for our lives to take sail-
but my mind keeps going back to you, back to you.
I've been waiting for this day,
but you can't come and give me away, you knew,
Oh Daddy you knew

Why did you take yourself away,
why aren't you here for me today?
I thought we had life all planned out,
but you took plans and threw them out.
Now I know it was all a lie,
you left me here to just ask why,
why choose to die?

Sterile room and cold hard floor
time to add life just one more-
couldn't help but name him after you, after you.
I've been waiting for this day,
"he's got your eyes" oh you would say, you knew
Oh Daddy you knew.

You knew the very moment you took your life,
that the rest of mine would be just strife.
What a selfish thing to do,
Daddy how could you?
Oh Daddy you knew,
Oh Daddy you knew

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[raleighman3000]

Don't spend precious time trying to get into the head of someone who stepped out of life. Remember him at his best, and never question whether he loved you.There are no answers, because serious depression is a disease that tries to hide itself while it does its damage. Its a cancer that hijacks the normal will to live, and it lies to the sufferer like a devil sitting on the shoulder. "They won't miss you", "you are not needed", you embarrass all of them." The victim is not seeing reality.

[traskjl1]

@raleighman3000 

I disagree with pretty much everything you say, sorry.

[raleighman3000]

@aapjoe also, remember that getting help, though important, is a huge hurdle for seriously depressed people, and sadly, it doesnt always work. meds work for a certain percentage of people, but most need long-term therapy, which someone in a death spiral oftern cant even imagine doing.

[raleighman3000]

@aapjoe How is his act selfish when a suicidal person often feels that their simply being alive is actually bumming everyone out. I know this sounds like a strange way to look at it, but I never felt, at my lowest point, that suicide would have really had much impact on people around me. I wasn;t thinking " I'm really gonna show everyone, they will be sad when I'm gone." It was more like "after a few months they will barely remember me. Thats the reality.

[aapjoe]

@raleighman3000 I understand perfectly well what you mean about depression ...

I've been depressed myself ... And wanted to end my life as well .

However both you and i CHOSE to get help and stay alive for the ones we love!

We weren't as selfish ....

My father commited suicide and i can not and will not ever understand how he could have done that to us ....

I'm sorry but those are just my thoughts about this ....

[raleighman3000]

@traskjl1 I'm sorry you disagree, but you should understand, I'm a father of a beautiful 4 yr old, and I found myself with a horrible depression last Spring that just about did me in. I was very close to being a statistic, and I had to force myself to get the proper med and to get therapy. I'm not just spouting something I read somewhere; I know firsthand how the brain lies to a depression victim, and its a hell I would not wish on anyone. I'm horrified to think how desperate I was.

[raleighman3000]

You wrote: You knew the very moment you took your life,

that the rest of mine would be just strife.

That is most likely not be true, okay. Someone suffering from a suicidal depression is not thinking that they are worth anything, or that their passing will truly affect anyone. They feel numb and worthless to the world. Trust me, I'm the married father of a beautiful 4 yr old and I have been to the absolute edge of my own mortality this year. With medication and a psychiatrist I am more stable.

[Larryshannon1976]

It's sad when a Father Dies. or when anyone dies. The stories are on channel Daganerabus. Including Radio interviews. BTW - nice job on your song. MuchLuv friend.

[KNulph2887]

I lost my dad 3 years ago today to suicide and i will never be the same again! thank you for writing this song. its comforting to know that other's are feeling the same and i'm not alone :(