Colonel Miles Quaritch New Training Video

Colonel Quaritch lays down the rules for new recruits. "Walk Softly and carry a big-ass stick," indeed.

From AvatarMovie.com exclusives, copyright James Cameron and Fox. I do not own this video.

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• colonel
• miles
• quaritch
• avatar
• awesome
• badass
• secops
• rda
• amp
• suit
• movie
• scifi
• film
• teaser
• james
• cameron
• gunship
• na'vi

[Hawkds21]

If Pandora was real and we, humanity, were actually engaged in a war against Eywa and the cat-chimps, we would have plowed clean through 'em with nary a casualty, because that softy deus ex machina plot armor fairy-tale bull doesn't fly IRL. Let Eywa send all the titanotheres, thanators, and Great Leonopteryxes she can manifest. Nothing a few Little Boys can't handle.

And before you know it, it's an all-you-can-eat buffet of unobtanium for all the men, women, boys, and girls back home.

[bancoran]

@Hawkds21 And Quaritch would invite the Epic Meal Time crew to help him barbecue all that weirdo six-legged rhino-shark and chickenlizard meat. Giant-ass rotisseries in the armory bay, Fred Flintstone style, and everyone gets magnums of Jack Dagnells.

[Hawkds21]

@CaptKennedyUSMC We'll be back in action with nukes, orbital cannons, heavy combat vehicles, cruise missiles, directed-energy weapons, fighter jets, and perhaps even Megazords, with thousands upon thousands of highly-trained men and women to match.

The blues, their mommy, and her little forest friends don't stand a chance. Pandora will be a new Mars once we've stripped the moon of every last nanogram of its unobtanium and destroyed every last molecule of its life.

[bancoran]

@MissDelanne Sexiest motherfucker in the universe. God damn I love me some silver fox Marines.

[CaptKennedyUSMC]

@Hawkds21 Well bro, their would be no Na'vi to shoot! Then again they did go and worship that Tree of Souls after their tree got destroyed. But, no. Jake Sully came in and stirred them up.

[Hawkds21]

@bancoran And we'll be using that Keebler tree as toothpicks and firewood. The perfect clean-burning source for a decent barbeque!

Adds a lovely honey-scented aroma to your thanator ribs.

[Hawkds21]

@Hawkds21 We offered the Na'vi friendship, technology, the means of greatly improving their daily lives. And they spat in our face. We came to blows purely to defend ourselves. If the Na'vi had just cooperated in the first place, everyone would be happy.

But this is a Hollywood flick. We can't have that, can we?

[Hawkds21]

I would like to see Avatar's sequel free of overt environmentalism, misanthropy, and the much-cliche OMFG WOMEN ARE SO PERFECT AND SEXY MOTHERS GODDESS BADASSES LOLOLOL themes so prominent in everything nowadays.

Another thing that gets my goat is Jake Sully's portrayal of the hero. He's no hero. He's a fuckin' traitor. He denied humanity of vital resources. He has essentially committed genocide -- 20 billion humans on Earth whose lives are now in jeopardy. The Na'vi don't need unobtanium.

[Hawkds21]

@CaptKennedyUSMC Hell no, they don't. We're Marines, sailors. We eat 100-meter waves for breakfast...and six-ton panthers for dessert. Raw. Without any seasoning.

[CaptKennedyUSMC]

@Hawkds21 Fucking oorah brotha, I will bring my surf boards. Because Na'vi don't surf!!!!

[HKOverlord117]

@PaxImperious In the words of Bobby Lee...he could make "Avatar look AvatARDED."

[PaxImperious]

@HKOverlord117 Now that you mention it, it'd be quite interesting to see what Uwe Boll can do with the avatar movies.

I'd like to see how far he can bring down this terrible treehugger-friendly franchise.