Reality Dose 2
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I do... what makes you think I don't... but for the most part it's a pain in the ass, I feel uneasy and nothing more... And I enjoy being by myself... as hard as that is for most to digest...
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
I'm know that... I'm not that cumbersome at all, even more so for men in his position, all he would have to do is dismiss me and I would be gone... You see the thing that is problematic in this area, isn't me... but him... He doesn't want to hurt me, though any action he take will cause me pain... I a negate offering him the dilemma.
I'm not worried about people judging me, people seeing me as a burden or not. If I were only a bother things would be easier. The man is too kind for his own good.
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
Yeah, but I'll be leaving soon enough... less then a week now... I know I put myself down, it's a horrible habit, as for the letting him decide, its kind of hard... He's not one to tell me, even should I be, also, I'm not sure how aware of the situation he is and so here is no way for me to derive his feeling on the matter... I'm not sure if I like complicating things, maybe, but I tend to be very cautious when people I care deeply about are in the fold.
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
Dolce & Gabbana, and such, overpriced crap... It would be... if I didn't have a crush on him... But I feel I'm mostly trouble to him, he wouldn't say anything though- far to sweet... and besides, I don't live here... so it's hard for use to have any kind of relationship...
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
As for Opening up to him... I'm very open with most people... perhaps I'm more secretive with him then others... rather then open... I would be, I'd like to be... but it's not my place... So I have to keep my thoughts, at least the more lascivious ones bottled up... then I throw them onto a canvas...
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
No... we have more in common then people might think... we are both slightly outside of the norm... He was always nice to be because we were both picked on... We both liked then same style and music... though now he wears DG shit... but he's just not a very talky kind of guy... Strong silent type... He the kind of guy that doesn't say anything, unless he has something to say... even then, always to the point.
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
A large reason is that he's rather oblivious... most men I like tend to be... though if they know I'm gay then they pay more attention to those kind of things... It's really very difficult and I often slip up and do stupid things that give me away... but I try and keep at least him in the dark... I'm very selfless when it comes to people I like... You see, if I told him... I would be at ease that he knew, and could process his reaction... but it would cause him only trouble, so I don't.
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
I doubt he would... I said that just to show how improbably it is that I would tell him... Only I have to gain from it anyway... and I'm fairly sure he is unaware of it... Perhaps other are, as well they should be... I think it's painfully obvious... I don't socialize much and answer monosyllabically, though with him, I drag conversation out of him... I'm also very closed and don't like people touching me... but I find every excuse to touch him... However slight... I must make he so uneasy...
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
No it would be a load off my shoulders, but a load on his, he knows I care about him, but he thinks as a friend. If he knew that was something more he'll be unsettled around me, he'll understand why some things he did made me upset, and made him seem like an asshole had he known... and for not knowing... I see no up side for him know. If he every came to me, cry and saying no one loved him. I might consider it then, though I would have to assess the situation.
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago
I don't know... I still care for him and always well... but I try not to use that word too often... When I'm far away from him I don't really think about him... unless something reminds me of him... then for a few days I do...
Because I know him... I know it wouldn't bother him that a man likes him, it would bother him that her tortures me... He's that kind of guy... he hate people being mad at him, or when he hurts peoples feelings... especially people who are alway nice t him...
DsaiTheWhite 2 years ago