The 2007 Commencement Cabaret put on at Vassar College during senior week.
Lyrics: Max Fagin
Pianist: Hannah Ewert-Krocker
Music: Sir Arthur Sullivan
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As some day in the future, that your Vassar life recall,
I can surely tell you this; they're some things you won't miss.
Oh but please don't misinterpret, there were good times had by all.
But if you reminisce, there some things you won't miss.
There's the art and culture majors always taking photographs.
Or those who build weird statues on the library's front grass.
And the freshman drama major. You know the one I mean.
He pirouettes about the stage and keeps his nails so clean.
And that idiot who brags of sex, but never has been kissed!
They're some things you won't miss; they're some things you won't miss.
There's the teachers who will rule their class as if it were a jail,
On attention they insist, and rule with iron fist.
And the student who always nags at you 'cause you don't "save the whales",
They're some things you won't miss; they're some things you won't miss.
And the guy who drinks on Founder's Day till all the worlds a blur,
Then in the morning is surprised he can't remember what occurred
And the shirtless upperclassman who plays Frisbee on the quad,
and will never go indoors except to recharge his iPod.
And those overzealous writers, the Miscellany journalists.
Well I don't think they'll be missed. I'm sure they'll not be missed.
There's the people who leave cell phones on at commencement cabaret.
I know that you exist, out there among our midst.
And extensive fire warnings that are boring and cliché,
Oh, In case of a fire scare, exits there and there and there.
For this group of underclassmen, who desperate to appease,
Have come before you here tonight to beg you pretty please,
Be you gay or straight, a man or woman, or something in between,
Enjoy the show, and please refrain from heckling words obscene.
And maybe when you look back at these classmen in your midst.
Think of things that you will miss, the things that you will miss.
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meh
thommmiey 2 years ago