How do I not get jealous?

It's a question I get asked all the time, being a swinger people find it hard to get their head around so here I share my thoughts on it :)

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• sex
• swinging
• relationships
• sexuality
• exploration
• jealous
• jealousy
• love
• marriage
• relationship

[topformfitness]

A little "jealousy" is a good thing (if that's what you want to call it). Alot is not... but if you don't care that your lover is screwing other people then I would think that suggests something is missing in that relationship. Perhaps your situation is different, but I can't see you could ever feel the same closeness to someone if you are a "swinger".

[chantelleaustin]

And that's a fair comment from someone who's not experienced the potential of it... it's really hard to explain what it is like, and I honestly didn't expect that swinging could make the bonds between us stronger but it did and I've met other swingers who have found the exact same thing... it's like the less is more principle - logically it doesn't make sense but that's just how it works so while you don't understand it, and can't see it happening for yourself, it is absolutely possible :)

[UtubeForever2005]

How about having some babies and stop swinging??

[jamielovetodance]

If I have a bf I trust in him but I dont know why I still get jealous and feel worried to see him talk to another girls ( especially girl who is the type that he may like ) I feel afraid that she might make him feel happier than I can do. And i would be very upset if I know that he thinks of that girl ... or wants to talk to her :( ...... can u suggest me more please thankx

[Xxmoonlightmusic16xX]

The bird metaphor was really helpful (:

[spartacandream]

I don't know jealousy, I don't think everyone is capable of that emotion. I've never experienced it in my life.

[ua1994]

"if he finds someone made him happier than me, i love him enough to let him go". i admire your inner strength.bless you.

[lina8208]

Either way, you cannot trust anyone 100% whether you're in a open relationship or not. Your partner might want to leave you anyway, even for someone else, even without cheating first. One can never be completly sure.

[lina8208]

We are taught that monagamy is a sign of commitment and love which often times isn't the case. There are countless people who have monagamous yet lovless relationship. Just because you let you partner have sex with others or date others doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or your relationship, you can just be trusting and freespirited. If you're not dependent on someone or insecure in some way you can have an open relationship.

[lina8208]

An open relationship or a polyamorous relationship is possible if the relationship is steady. I'm not a jelous woman myself so I could be involved in those type of alternative relationships.

I believe jelousy can be triggered by numerous factors such as: insecurity, not having your needs fullfilled, lack of trust, big ego, fear etc. I also think a lot of people have trouble with living an alternative lifstyle from fear of being judged or fear of what that would imply.

[lina8208]

I think the most imortant thing in a relationship is that you and your partner are compatible. That you have a set of rules you live by and agree on them and follow them. You should both be caring, trusting and honest.

[topformfitness]

OK, I agree anything is possible. Hell, the idea of "swinging" sounds pretty ideal as a man! I guess it's just been my experience, having known several people in "open" relationships, that they don't typically last, or at least have more issues. But Kudos to you if it's working for ya!