Maltese Calypso

Malta, we love Malta!
These are the things we'd alter.
Malta, we love Malta,
These are the things we'd alter.




Now you've not been in Malta for very long,
Before you notice some things seem wrong
So before we go on with the show,
This is our very own Maltese calypso: (refrain)




Now the Maltese people are very nice,
If you hire a car, you better think twice.
Oh the Maltese people are very nice,
If you hire a car, you better think twice.
I hired one the first day I got here
With no brakes, no clutch, and I can't change gear.
I went around to get my money back,
But the man says, don't worry 'cause they're all like that. (refrain)




Now I took a taxi, had a terrible fright.
He drove on the left, he drove on the right.
Oh I took a taxi, had a terrible fright.
He drove on the left, he drove on the right.
I asked the driver, can this be true?
Does everyone in Malta drive like you?
He turned around, and said we got it made,
In Malta, everybody drives in the shade. (refrain)




Now the Maltese girls are very fine,
With dark skin and eyes that shine.
Oh, the Maltese girls are very fine,
With dark skin and eyes that shine.
I asked a girl to come out with me till late,
So I picked her up about a half past eight,
Her mother said, now have a real good time,
But she better be home by half past nine! (refrain)




Now the first thing that made me very cross,
Was everybody drives like Stirling Moss.
Oh the first thing that made me very cross,
Was everybody drives like Stirling Moss.
The buses here are a bit of a joke,
Old and green, and make a lot of smoke.
The smallest book in the world, we're told,
That's the Maltese highway code. (refrain)




Now when you leave Malta, you'll be very sad -
'Cause things over here aren't really that bad.
Oh When you leave Malta, you'll be very sad -
'Cause Things over here aren't really that bad.
We got the sunshine, we got the sea,
And not long ago we got the colour TV.
And when you come back, well you never know -
Someone might have filled up all the holes in the roads.




Malta, we love Malta,
These are the things we'd alter.
Malta, we love Malta,
There's nothing that we'd alter!

Thanks to www.onlymalta.com

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Malta
• funny
• crazy
• valletta
• gozo
• maltese
• calypso
• eurovision

[SingStarStyle92]

I still love Malta xD !! It's amazing there!

[Cads666]

Bugger me backwards. Never thought I'd ever hear this again. Was there is the 80's. Bottle caps stuck in the pavement, shitty busses, lizards, sunny every day, franks car hire, captain morgans boat rides... ahh.. they were the days. Cheers for posting Ian.

[CarmxFromMalta]

Will always always always always love love love love Malta! our Malta xxx Miss You forever Malta xxx

[reichelmarket]

Maaalta i love maaaalta ^^

haha how funny, i really like it :) it makes me grin :)

[rodjames98]

Now part of the E.U fascist state, and if you do'nt have a credit card the days of hiring a car are sadly over.

[304308355]

lol my cousin used to own mcbaileys :)

[mankybub]

I love Malta i have this on cassette, mission to find it spent a day in Valletta searching for it had a brilliant holiday God bless Malta.

[Nightterminator]

Anyway them flags are both right, it's only the pole that's UPSIDEDOWN. And the Captain put the pole in place, we the pioneers only put the flag up. (: LOL

[Nightterminator]

Everyone got the up's and down's even our Flag. (: LOL

[lewiselle]

hehe i'm maltese but brit friend of mine told me about this tune .... find it hilarious that barely anything has really changed or probably ever will! except the bus colour :D ha!

[keithmeli]

there were like four jokes i didnt get, can you explain them better please.and malta is nice cause every place has its good and bad.

[Bizerkiz]

Hahahahah. My Uncle Wrote the origonal of this XD over 30 years ago :P