Holiday Hell
Rabbi Yehudah ben Shomeyr
I have received several e-mails from inter-religious homes, where one member is a Torah Obedient believer in Yeshua and the others are not and they want to celebrate Chanukah while everyone else wants to celebrate the Pagan Holiday of Christmas. Here is my advice to them:
Shalom,
I can sure sympathize with your problem and have already addressed it with several others this years so far.
Please bear with me. It is a very Jewish thing to answer a question with a question. Humor me please. To see this situation clearly we must put ourselves in YHWH's shoes. We are His Children and His Bride, so this is very relevant to your situation. If we were to do something out of His will, if we were to sin (I John 3:4) would He MAKE us not do it? No. He gave us Free Will and will not go against that. He would convict us and express His dual feelings of displeasure and heart break, but He would not make us not sin. Yet when we come to our senses He forgives us and welcomes us back with open arms, like the father of the prodigal son.
I suggest that you sit down with your family and in a loving and non-self-righteous or indignant way, recap Scripturally your disapproval of Christmas and the tree, etc. And express that if they went ahead with it, it would upset you and break your heart, but that you will not stop them if they decide to go ahead with it. Also make clear you will not help them in this endeavor, that erecting the tree and the decorating will have to be done all on their own, that they will not receive any help or participation from you, and if they respected you and your faith in the least bit they will not even ask. The let them know this has become a matter between them and G-d. But seeing as you are priest of the home, if they decide to go through with Christmas they are expected to join you in Chanukah. They may see this as unfair, but the catch is that you can prove their observance of Christmas is unscriptural and they cannot prove such with Chanukah, even Messiah Yeshua in John 10 celebrated the Feast of Dedication AKA: Chanukah. And if the Master did so, it cannot be wrong. With this loving approach maybe you can help them eventually see the error and Christmas in a non-threatening way and the joy of Chanukah. As they say You can attract more flies with Honey than with vinegar. A love like the father of the prodigal son is what it will take, not an iron fisted, "I'm the head of this house....yada, yada..."
You may wonder if you are really head of your home, if you are permitting sin into the home? Yes, you are, just as G-d is the head of us and His House, yet He permits our free will and thus allows us to sin in His House, if you will.
This may not have been the answer you would have expected from a Torah Observant Natsari/Messianic Jew. But Next to G-d and Torah, Family is the most important thing and we need to do all we can to keep the family at peace and in tact. And I feel this is a balanced Biblical way to do it.
I sincerely hope this helps.
Shalom,
-- Rabbi Yehudah
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