How the Whoos Saved America
By Jason Goldtrap 11.26.04
"United we stand" we all say with pride
But too many are blind to a growing divide.
Between those who have values and those who do not.
And despise the ones whom for their nation fought!
Those foul, wicked Grinches and their cadre of fiends
Who want to turn our land into a communists dream.
The sly, crafty lawyers of the ACLU
They want to eradicate the American Whoos.
The Whoos are those average, ordinary Joes.
They work hard, play fair, and suffer the blows.
The Grinches dictate idiotic social folly.
They said "Christmas isn't fair to the chronically unjolly.
'Thanksgiving' sounds religious so it can't be legal.
Halloween is ok; it celebrates evil.
Labor Day hurts the feelings of the unemployed.
Memorial Day and Veterans Day would be safer to avoid.
"July fourth is so corny, silly, and jingoistic.
Patriotism," they said, "is for the simplistic.
Lincoln was Republican! Washington owned slaves!
Do these right wing extremists deserve holidays?
And what about Easter and that empty tomb?
Let's get rid of all this God stuff real soon!"
So they set out to erase the American way;
They repainted the flag- red, blue, and dull gray.
But the Whoos just shrugged and never tried to disagree.
"I'm too busy working" they said, "Politics isn't for me."
And so their malaise went on year after year
None dared speak out, paralyzed by fear.
But when all seemed hopeless, helpless, and too late
A child named Cindy Lou Whoo, said, "Hey, wait!
If we are the majority and they are one percent
Why should we bow to them? Why should we consent?"
"I'm an American!" she said, "I deserve a fair shake!
Somebody should do something, my future's at stake."
And so this brave little girl, this overlooked lass
Got out a Bible and started to read it in class.
The teacher said, "You mustn't! Be quite and sit!"
But Cindy Lou kept reading, refusing to quit.
The principal came by and demanded an end
To these shocking pronouncements that just might offend!
But she kept speaking and would not relent.
So the principal gave up and the cops were sent.
At first they tried pepper spray, tasers, and cuffs
But all of their threats she ignored or rebuffed.
Eventually tears welled up in their eyes.
As they heard her small voice drowning out noisy lies.
So they took off their badges and put down their guns.
They called the chief of police and said "We're done!"
"Enough with the nonsense of various sorts,
We arrest bad guys and they're released by the courts!
No more will we sit back and play a lawyer's game."
And from that moment on nothing more was the same.
The airport security guards quit doing silly searches
Of kids in wheelchairs and old ladies' with purses,
They actually tried working instead of being slackers.
And vigilant people stopped the hijackers.
The non-Whoos who got here by jumping the fence
Were arrested and deported. (That's just common sense!)
They rounded up the bad guys and kept them in prison.
The Whoos knew the "real killer" was OJ Simpson.
And all those vile movies weren't burned or banned
They were sent back to Hollywood and buried in the sand.
All those who blasted rap music from cars.
Found themselves without a vehicle and behind bars!
The elites were upset, bothered and dismayed!
"I thought the dumb hicks, paid taxes, obeyed!
But once they figured out how to just say 'no'
We'll have to leave town and to France we must go!"
The Whoos used common sense, like they hadn't done in years!
They even put clothes on Britney Spears!
The snobs in New York were knocked off their high shelves
And told to get real jobs like everyone else!
And lastly, politicians who'd lived off Whoo-bread
Had "Thou shalt not steal" tattooed on their head.
The children studied how to read and how to write
And the parks were safe and you could walk at night!
Within a few days all was well
And everybody had a happy story to tell
About a brave little girl, not unlike me and you,
Who dared to stand up and be more than just a Whoo.
------
Link to the poem http://www.sarahconradofeaglecreek.com/comedy/whoos.html
"How the Whoos Saved America" by Jason Goldtrap, author of the online novel series "Sarah Conrad of Eagle Creek." http://www.sarahconradofeaglecreek.com/
On the Sarah of Eagle Creek website you will find the three novels, original humor and devotionals by Jason Goldtrap, and "Video of the Day" a funny, poignant video.
I have nothing to sell, nothing to join, no chat-rooms or forums, and I don't care who you vote for. I am providing a free public service using my God give creative writing skills to encourage others to use their talents to make quality, family friendly, values oriented material. -JG
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The arresting people for blareing rap music was a little much but other then that it was a nice rhyme.
JFKCoupdetat 1 year ago
AMEN!
oahsim1 3 years ago
It's true and it CAN be done. If the majority actually stood up to the insane nazi liberals and took their country back things WOULD be different. Thanks for the upload - cute and true.
ThanxALott 3 years ago