Tim McMullen's Talkin' Herstory

The history of woman at the hands of man since the dawn of MAN done as a talking blues... Discusses religion, the Bible, sexism, slavery, discrimination, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, sweat shops, the American Way, Margeret Sanger, contraception, abortion, the Pope,


Talking Herstory

Well, if you think the world is a mystery,
Then you ought to learn a little history.
Find the facts—open up your mind;
If you want to see the future,
You gotta look behind.
The one outstanding feature
Of the preacher and the teacher
Is what Cummings called
The shrill collective Myth;
That is, the lies we tell ourselves...
About ourselves...
To make ourselves
Feel better about ourselves.
Havent you ever wondered
Why they call it His story?

Now they tell the one about
Adam in the garden:
He was diggin' in the dirt
And beggin Gods pardon
When along came Eve
And opened up his eyes;
She said, Here, eat this!
Itll make you healthy and wise.
And she was right,
So Adam took a bite,
But when God did come
(FEE-FI-FO-FUM),
He said, Im gonna take your life!
So Adam did what any
Red-blooded, self-righteous,
God-fearing man would do:
He blamed his wife!

In those early days the boys were no fools;
So, they sat themselves down
And made up some rules:
We menll be the leaders...
Well call ourselves...priests.
And suddenly they saw
Their fortunes increased.
Our jobll be to sit here
And make up the laws
And take up collections
For other peoples flaws!

Take, for instance, the female;
You can see that shes cursed:
In all Gods creation a womans the worst.
She is a creature so completely unclean
(You can see what I mean in Leviticus 15:19)
Why, she bleeds again and again...
Whether shes wounded or not!
You better burn those sheets, Buddy. It says so,
Right there in the Bible...Look it up!

[for what happened between 100 million BC or 5000 BC, depending on your theology, go to my MySpace blog of August 27, 2008 to read the rest of the lyrics—it is too long for this YouTube space—

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=155996246

Finally, in 1965,
When many of us were already alive,
The court said in Griswold
That a man and wife
Were entitled to a contraceptive private life.
Of course, logic led quickly to Roe v. Wade,
But the Pope and other preachers
Were alarmed and dismayed,
(Not to mention afraid)
Cause a powerless woman
Meant he had it made,
But if she rose up,
Then his power would fade.

After all of these years
Of raising her voice,
A woman finally found
That she had the choice
To decide for herself
When or if to give birth,
And millions of women
Have known what thats worth.
But those men who lost
Both a maid and a slave
Have their own idea
Of how she should behave:
Get her out of the mans world
And back in the home;
Remove all her pills,
IUDs, and her foam,
And outlaw abortion,
Take her choices away!
Give her rights to the fetus.
Praise the Lord! Let us pray...

Let us pray that these women
Finally come to their senses
And not try to climb
Over any more fences.
They are there for a reason!
Take our word...we should know—
We built them for you,
So just go with the flow.
Its a fact every God-Loving
man must face:
We were made in Gods image—
Thats why we lead the race.
Although women have tried
To pick up the pace,
Despite all that weve done
To make em give up the chase...
How can we maintain our
God-given superiority
If these women keep knocking down
The barriers we build
To keep 'em in their place?

©1989 Tim McMullen All Rights Reserved

Category:

News & Politics

Tags:

• Tim
• McMullen
• feminism
• women
• talkin'
• satire
• humor
• Stanton
• Sanger
• Pope
• religion
• sexist
• rights
• God
• contraception
• hypocrisy
• bigotry

[losthills]

Groovy!

I love your vids....

[TimMcMullen]

Thanks!

Tim

[raymondcrooke]

Good song, with a lot of humour.

[termikesmike]

i'm sure Woody would agree

that's quite a trip through HIstory!

excellent

[bulbheadmyass]

Another great song, Tim. You got me... I'm subscribing.