This film is in honour of mothers, seen and unseen, everywhere and throughout time. A celebration of why we choose this work, and value it as the most important and precious responsibility we will ever undertake.
My life has been quite monastic here in the hills of wales, home educating my three daughters with their very different needs,my youngest with D.S and nystagmus, living half a mile from a road, often snowed in for weeks at a time.This film bears witness to our lives, our struggles and the daily transformation of these. It is not a documentary though.
It is 15 minutes long. It is best downloaded first and then played on a large screen.I invite you to take 15 minutes of undisturbed quiet, open your heart and walk our walk.
So, here is my first completed piece of art in 6 years. For those of you who know how I have always created art daily, will understand just how significant this piece of time has been for me, time has in a way stood still-as I have been so immersed in the moments of being a mother to my children, without the reflection/assimilation that comes with making art.It feels like a milestone to have eventually expressed something of the unseen journey that I have been on and continue daily.
My usual expression would have been in paint, but my life has transformed a thousandfold since the birth of my third daughter and nothing is usual anymore. This first completed piece of art in 6 years has manifested as a film. I have painted and written and composed and filmed a million times in my head and heart these six years,whilst breastfeeding,hanging out washing,cooking the meals,soothing a sick child,praying,laughing and playing with my children, encouraging their independence whilst keeping watch with all my senses alert... but not manifested anything materially as my whole being was in service to the present moment needs of my children. The same as millions of mothers throughout time whose stories have not been heard as they had no time to bear witness and record their wisdoms,thoughts and emotions.Their task in front of them/ in their arms was more urgent and necessary. The last six years have taken me on a tough,quite solitary,powerful and revelatory journey. I have learnt the deep meaning of work, surrender, love, truth and simplicity and practised the courage to act & the courage to wait. I have learnt to practice peace, quietness and gratitude within my heart. To observe a lot. To listen. There has been no witness to the depth of what we have been through, all my previous life I created art as a way to contemplate and assimilate experience. These last six years I have barely even expressed verbally the depths to which it has taken me. I don't think there are the words.
This film was shot over a few hours and edited the following day. It expresses for me exactly my experience. Whilst I have had all hours filled with work needing to be done, I have learnt the value of time and have mastered the ability to utilise every moment. I have learnt deep focus and appreciation.
This film is my most honest piece of art having come straight from the heart with no thought processes involved. I didn't direct the children to do or say anything,we simply went on a walk & I had my camera in my pocket and I started to film with the intention of just filming whatever happened in those few hours. I simply decided that particular afternoon that I would film something myself, to me it didn't matter what shots I filmed,I just wanted to capture a glimpse of our reality-the same emotions and experiences would have been communicated if I had filmed any part of our day or week. As each journey small or big that we take follows the same stages.
I Mostly filmed one handed whilst holding my youngest daughter's hand. Alex had walked on ahead to gather wood and us three started our slow walk. Magdalena reluctantly and with great resistance and Agnieszka flying ahead and impatient, me tired physically and emotionally. We all returned refreshed,unified, surrendered and glowing.
The film starts out like most days, full of 'nos' and abrasions and obstacles until through surrender, love, purpose, faith, patience,persistence, tolerance and choosing to stay and face ourselves and our struggles,we find ourselves supported, replenished and transformed by nature and are able to come back from separation to unity with joy in our hearts. One walk is all it takes.
It is the ordinariness of life,too often overlooked, that holds the magic, our joy comes from giving time to the ordinary, slowing down to allow the transformation of the ordinary into the profane. This is the gift I have been given through being a mother and it is a pleasure to share what so many mothers experience daily but rarely have witness to.
If you feel inclined to I would like to hear your reactions to my film. Please leave a comment below.Thank you.
Anita Kolaczynska
www.oakwellbarns.co.uk music by Goma www.gomaretreat.wordpress.com/
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congenital jerk nystagmusby DrAsimMehmood136 views
A beautiful piece of work,very inspiring and so true. Thank you for sharing it.
steinclan5 2 months ago