‎Mad Mel doesn't give a fuck everyday

Big Neill's stag do 2011. Mad Mel is 67 and slept for 3 hours through out the entire weekend and drank constantly.

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[Hondadood]

Then they fucking hit you, hit your shields and everything.

But what you do is you stand up again, get in there, and give it the big licks!

You give it the fucking Big licks don’t you?

Because that’s what you’re they for, weren’t you boy!

[Hondadood]

Not when you’re fucking roman.

Not when you’re a man with a fucking shield and a fucking sword.

A big cock means fucking nothing. ZERO!!!

Similar, similar.

See!

Mel’s like similar.

You’re standing there with a fucking shield and a sword and when the arrows come down, you know when they fire the arrows at you.

That’s when you see nothing matters.

They are all there with their shields and swords, they are all down the line waiting for when the arrows come.

[Hondadood]

See these boys here. See these boys here! Then, you see me, I’m one hell of a trooper. I would fucking troop where other men are afeard. I mean really afeard. Everything is getting better now! Getting down to business, officers and everything isn’t it? There’s nothing the matter with big cocks. I’ve seen some big cocks in my time! And I’ll tell you; I’ve seen them all. Fucking put his length through there. Six inches of cock means fuck all, does it?

[Hondadood]

All you can do with that is keep me awake.

Because once I see a tiger, ill fucking rive it apart wouldn’t I?

Because that’s what a fucking roman trooper does isn’t it?

He just rives everything apart!

Just rives it a good one. Doesn’t he?

With out a slither of a doubt.

Oh they’re marvellous.

Am going to fucking teach you something here.

Hang on wait until I get my kegs on.