To sleep or not to sleep

I am not sleeping whatsoever at the moment.
Even with a sleeping tablet, I'm up at least once in the night.
I didn't talk as much last night - but on a regular basis I'm known to cry out and talk.
Mum turned my light off at one point - thats why it suddenly goes really dark...
I went to bed at 3:10 and got out of bed for the final time at 10:45.
I've now been diagnosed with depression and taking antidepressants.

When I go to bed I usually read for 30 mins - currently re-reading the Harry Potter series... so don't tell me I don't sleep because I'm on the computer up until bed.

My head feels like a tv set. I cant stop thinking when I put my head down. It's like I'm reliving everything thats happened in the day - every conversation - every movement... anything I've read or seen. I keep thinking about these exams that I'm about to fail. Thinking about God and death. Mr Ex Boyfriend who is being very unfair to me. Anything of any importance plays through my mind and it won't switch off.

This has been happening on a long term basis - not just in the last week.
Since June 2010 I've had real serious difficulty sleeping:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTwK3RKxdno

Almost every time I wake up I drink water - but I've cut it out - just incase you are wondering why I kept reaching over....

Sometimes I sleep with a lamp on (just broken my lamp this week - no lamp at the moment) - or we keep the landing light on - I'm never in pure darkness... Some people will argue the light was a factor that kept me awake. But I'm like this even without the light on... I dimmed the light so its actually darker in my room than it appears....

-----

I remember part of a dream from this night.

Travelling back in time - I was sitting in the back of my mums car looking through my purse for my current college id card. I was going to go back to secondary school in 2009 - I was going back in time. I remember seeing a certain person and they didn't recognise me and I also remember walking through corridors and classrooms at my old school.

----

Some people don't believe me when I say I don't sleep.
Some people are generally interesting in sleep....
So I appreciate lots of people won't understand this video...

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• beckie0
• sleep
• insomnia
• depression
• expression
• sadness

[jessiefails]

Ah dear, trying to sleep with a million things going through your mind. Annoying, right?

I have a little idea. Drawing from personal experience, I find myself sleeping better when I'm not in the same old room, same old bed, same old position. You know, getting bored of sleeping in the same place. Try perhaps taking your pillow down the other end of your bed, rearranging your room & moving your bed (if possible). Stuff like that tends to help me, try it if you're desperate :P Much loves Beckie! x

[understood448]

i have the same issue i find its best to focus on a story you create in your head or watch a movie of some kind and then go to sleep with it on or listen to music either the same song on repeat or shuffle

[KailyeKat]

I can't sleep either. Always have a light on as well. I think I'm just afraid to fall asleep...It's really hard to explain. I used to read each night, now I just play piano or guitar in my room until I start to feel sleepy, normally it isn't until around 4 in the morning. -_-

[Gynger64]

I have trouble sleeping too and I was diagnosed with depression. I literally cannot make myself fall asleep until 2 am or later and there's nothing I can do about it. It's awful!

[Gynger64]

@LovePeaceOx if she annoys u so much then y are u watching?

[LovepeaceOx]

why do you have to tell someone your wearing shorts? you annoy me.

[thislittlewoman]

I sit up in my sleep too - often when I'm half-asleep and half-awake. It's rather odd, because I'm conscious of me sitting up and I know that I should be lying down, but it takes me a while to actually get around to it :P

[beckaish]

@SophiesSaga She said it was 3am, its light outside at 3am.

You wouldn't know that as you're probably asleep at that time :)

[SophiesSaga]

try turning the light off, that always helps me ;)

[moondogg55]

It saddens me to see you suffer so ... I had a problem with sleep a few years back, went days without any, and months just getting a couple of hours a night, in my rocking chair, outdoors on my front porch. I hope you get better soon.

Love & concern, Tom <3

[Cookieanddough]

i have the same issue :/

[FootLoose4ver]

But wrt the water, are you getting 8 glasses of water during the day? You should to stay hydrated.