funny rhyming poem - The Secret of my Success

Commemorating the deaths of a number of odious uncles.

The Secret of my Success

My odious Uncle Michael once
kept a constricting snake
and, when he brought it round for tea,
it ate up all my cake.

We had some words, 'cause I was cross
I said, "that's not polite."
And then it turned on Auntie Sue
and ate her in one bite.

I harangued the snake, most peevish,
"You shouldn't have done that,
Aunt Sue was very small and thin,
why not try Uncle Pat?"

Pat looked askance and said, "Oh no,
That's a daft suggestion.
Please, don't eat me, my serpent friend.
Think of your digestion."

The snake's forked tongue flicked in and out,
it tasted Patrick's hand
but he'd washed in carbolic soap.
and didn't taste too grand.

Since Pat wasn't to his taste, it
started on the trifle.
I cried, "Now, snake, enough's enough,"
and went out for my rifle.

Mike got down on his knees and begged
"Please spare my little pet,
He's all I have, don't be so cruel."
And my eyes grew quite wet.

But it was just a wicked ruse
to gain the snake respite,
for, as I dashed my tears away,
it gave me such a bite.

I blazed away with erring aim.
I should have shown more care.
For I, sadly, shot my uncles.
I was their only heir.

That's how I became a rich man,
a gentleman of style,
and live a life of luxury,
all thanks to that reptile

Was my tea party a success?
I find it hard to say.
But on my invitations now,
I write, 'no snakes.' OK?


© Wilkie Martin 2010
http://www.wilkiemartin.com

Category:

Comedy

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[dudestedo]

lol xD uncle pat. i like your accent

[wilkiewrites]

@dudestedo Thanks for liking my accent - not many do!

[reluctantminstrel]

very funny mate

[wilkiewrites]

@reluctantminstrel Thanks - always good to be appreciated.

[LinnBHalton]

I'm guessing you aren't Uncle Pat's favourite nephew ..... another amusing interlude Wilkie!

[wilkiewrites]

@LinnBHalton I used to be. Poor Uncle Pat.

[wilkiewrites]

Thanks pajamadude15 - much appreciated!

[pajamadude15]

Very good

[ElmoreLeopard]

Ha Ha. I'll have what you're drinking.