Uploaded on Sep 12, 2010
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Track (and lyrics) available on Bandcamp: http://bit.ly/c3NNVW
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Directed by Tim Davis.
Produced by Will Watkins.
(these guys rock!)
...it was during the video shoot that I first saw the child.
"Hey, hey, hey... Hold up." I shooed Greg away from the dumpster.
"But I've almost got a meal here," he insisted, holding a withered beef patty by his thumb and forefinger. From his back pocket he produced a crumpled wax bag containing a flattened sesame bun and began gesturing wildly with his two findings, one in each hand.
"It's a Burger King bun and an In-and-Out patty," he explained, placing one within the other delicately, as though handling plutonium or a bomb detonator. "I might.. be the first person.. to have tried this.. Ever!"
The bun settled around the greasy meat and Greg released a shuddering breath as he eyed his creation.
"My god," I shook my head, "did you really find that in the dumpster?" We'd been filming in back alleys for most of the day and the heat and dust had caked us all in a thin layer of exhaustion and grime.
Greg nodded enthusiastically, his bass discarded in a patch of shade beside him. "Yep!" He pointed to the beaten dumpster before him, "These things are chalk-full of wonders!"
I removed my guitar and approached the dumpster as Greg took a lustful bite and released a sigh that bordered on orgasmic. "It's... incredible," he whispered, but my attention was elsewhere.
Deep within the container I saw a rustling of papers, a shifting of debris. I lifted an egg crate and beneath spotted a young child. I gasped, I'd heard of dumpster-babies discarded by troubled parents but never before encountered one. I began envisioning the demands of the fatherhood now thrust upon me, when- "Wait, wait, wait a minute." I poked the kid in the dumpster, shaking him from his sleep. "What are you doing here?"
The kid looked up at me. "What do you mean? I'm a dumpster-baby." He pushed hair from his face and checked his wrist-watch. "Are you gonna take me home?"
"How old are you?" I helped the kid to his feet and pulled him out of the dumpster. He stretched and yawned, cracking his knuckles. "Twenty-one."
"What the hell are you doing in a dumpster?"
"Probably looking for food," Greg chirped, his mouth full. "This stuff's amazing." He offered the kid his sandwich and the two began taking alternating bites, moaning in unison.
"So, what are we doing now Dad?" the kid asked me. "We filming a movie?"
"Dad?! The hell are you talking about?"
"You found me. You keep me."
"That's not how this works," I insisted. "You can't just crawl into a dumpster and then expect me to care for you because I happened to notice. You're twenty-one, for christ sake."
"You'd leave a child in a dumpster?" the kid asked me solemnly.
The group turned and looked at me. A silence descended.
"Would you really, Isaac?" Greg muttered, pausing his gluttony as he awaited an answer.
"Well, no..." I mumbled, kicking a rock with the toe of my shoe. "I guess not..."
"Oh yayyyyy!" the kid leapt up, and planted a meat-odored kiss on my cheek. "You're the best, dad! Really, you are!"
The kid huddled by the sideline as we picked up for our next shot, the crew patted me on the back, mumbling their congratulations.
"Hey," the kid whispered, "Heeeyyyy! Can we go to a ball game when you're done working dad? Huh? Can we?"
"I dunno... Uh, sure. I guess..."
The sun was descending and we were loosing light. As we readied the shot I tried to clear my head, to calm my nerves.
Greg poked me with the tip of his bass.
"You owe me a couple bucks, dude," he said sternly. "Your kid ate half my burger."
Ah, the joys of fatherhood.
...Help me manage this thing and gimme some parenting advice on Twitter @isaacsimons or Facebook.com/isaacsimons. Please.
TAKE: http://isaacsimons.bandcamp.com and on iTunes: http://bit.ly/iystunes
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