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How to Score a Last-Call Hookup

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Uploaded by on Jul 17, 2009

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Expand the description and view the text of the steps for this how-to video.

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It's closing time—which means it's time to get serious about finding someone willing to go home with you.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A pick-up line
A place to score

Step 1: Scan the room

Scan the room for your top three choices. Base your decision not just on desirability, but on attainability as well. Exclude anyone already talking to a guy—trying to muscle in now could lead to a bar fight, in which case no one will get laid.

Tip: Go for the middle of the road. There's a mathematical concept called "insincere voting" in which you sacrifice your unlikely top choice to make sure you don't end up with your least-favorite choice. Get used to it.

Step 2: Set a standard

If you've awakened with regrets in the past, pick a level of attractiveness below which you won't go—and try to stick to it!

Tip: If you're drunk or horny enough, you might be unable to set such a standard.

Step 3: Make eye contact

Make eye contact with each of your top three choices. Approach the first person who returns your gaze.

Step 4: Reassess as needed

If you strike out with all three, reassess the remaining patrons.

Step 5: Pounce

The minute someone looks back and smiles, approach her, strike up a conversation, and position your body so as to prevent anyone else from interacting with her.

Tip: Buy her a last-call drink to make sure those wheels are really greased.

Step 6: Gauge interest

Gauge her interest. If it's obvious she's not interested in sex with a virtual stranger, move on quickly—time is running out.

Step 7: Be diplomatic but direct

Make your intentions clear without being crude. A simple "Hey, I'm not ready to call it a night—wanna go somewhere else?" should do the trick.

Step 8: Leave ASAP

If she's game, leave ASAP, before the lights come on and everything takes on a tacky patina.

Step 9: Don't blow it

If she's flirty but hesitant, take her to a coffee shop and work your charms. But if she's all over you, head straight to the closest apartment!

Thanks for watching How To Score a Last-Call Hookup! If you enjoyed this video subscribe to the Howcast YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=howcast

Category:

Comedy

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  • or... How To Score A Sexually Transmitted Disease

  • ha! this is so funny. seriously..people are retarded

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All Comments (62)

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  • @Bosingr She's a stripper not a hooker.

  • its too smiliar to video jug

  • lmfao funny movie im still hung ova from it

  • 1:39 what are they talking about (leave ASAP)

  • "You will need roofies..."

    lol. Just don't try that in Vegas or all kinds of crazy sh#t will happen. Like finding Mike Tyson's tiger in your bathroom the next morning or marrying a hooker while you're wasted.

  • this is alllll WRONG!

  • Haha

  • This was not up to the usual creativity standards, nor was it extraordinarily funny or helpful. Shame :(

View all Comments »
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