The Good Book - Tim Minchin

Lyrics by Tim Minchin - The Good Book
I have written the lyrics as good as I could.
____________________________________________
Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships

And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift

So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift

And like most gifts you get, it was a book

I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know

I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so

If I wanna know how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go

'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book

I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good

I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would

You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood

You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book

And it is good for cookin'


I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that

The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts

I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that

And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good


Morality is written there in simple white and black

I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that

Good is good and evils bad and goats are good and pigs are crap

You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good

And it's a book, and it's a book


I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter

The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh

But as they grew they started misbehavin'

So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath

When the creatures in your care start being menaces

The answers can be found right there in Genesis!

Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!


Swing your partner by the hand

Have a baby if you can

But if the voices in your head

Say to sacrifice your kid

To satiate your loving God's

Fetish for dead baby blood

It's simple faith, the Book demands

So raise that knife up in your hand!


Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know

If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go

So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go

And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received


The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."

The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."

The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.

If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
and it is good, and it's a book!"


Swing your daughter by the hand

but if she gets raped by a man

and refuses then to marry him

Stone her to death!


If you just close your eyes and block your ears

to the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years

then morally, guess what? You're off the hook

And thank Christ you only have to read one book


Just because the book's contents

Were written generations hence

By hairy desert-dwelling gents

Squatting in their dusty tents

Just because what Heaven said

Was said before they'd leavened bread

Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read

Doesn't mean that we should need

When manipulating human genes

To alleviate pain and fight disease

When deciding whether it's wrong or right

To help the dyin' let go of life

Or stop a pregnancy when it's

Just a tiny blastocyst

There's no reason why we should take a look

At any other book

But the Good Book

'Cause it's good

And it's a book

And it's a book

And it's quite good!


Good is good and evils bad

and kids get killed when God gets mad

and you'd better take a good look

At the Good Book


____________________________
Genesis
Chapter 6, Verse 5-7

The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the LORD was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. 7 So the LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the ground, man and beast and creeping things and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them."

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Tim
• Minchin
• good
• book
• song
• religion
• atheist
• theism

[Penguiroo]

People, shut up about what you believe. You're not right. No matter which side you're on, no matter what you believe, you're not right. There's no answer, so stop asking the question. Whether or not there's a god or whatever, how, in any way, does that affect what you do right now? It doesn't. So just go live your life, and stop trying to convince everyone you're right. No one is going to get their lives changed from a comment on youtube. Basically, shut. the fuck. up.

[MsAntitheist]

It has effected the world for years and continue to do so. Never stop asking questions!

[MsAntitheist]

* and will continue to do so.

I question why religion has more rights in most governments than basic human rights.

[BCareyUSAF]

How can you not understand? It's saying you're a retard for reading this stupid "good" book.

[MsAntitheist]

What the fuck are you referring to? I didn't understand ONE of the WORDS in the lyrics... that is all. I wanted them written correctly. I know what the fuck the song is about I sat and watched him perform it and added it to my youtube channel.

[DLiver420]

Then you (much like your religion) are fucking retarded. Stupid cunt.

[MsAntitheist]

ahh duh I am an atheist and do not have a religion. I think you misunderstood. Still thanks for watching the video I posted.

[DLiver420]

He's basically saying that your religion is bullshit. (He's right, if you believe in God, you're fucking stupid). There is no logical reason to believe in any version of an afterlife other than fear.

[rangers2721]

@Penguiroo That's the Christian motto lol. Shut up, don't ask questions, remember the donation bowl on your way out

[IcedCherriez]

@Karrowt Its fucking hilarious.

[DENISEMOON1984]

@MsAntitheist why would you want someone to keep asking questions that cannot be answered?

[Kracg999]

@MsAntitheist Rights from religion is an oxymoron.

[AngieAntiTheist]

With a user name like 'MsAntitheist" how am I not already friends with you?

[Morriusvids]

@AvalaDemson I think you meant epiphany. Why the hell would anyone want to go to Alabama or Tennessee...

[Like500Nuns]

tim minchin fucking rocks

[emmawildchild]

"Stone her to death." hahahaha

x

[Penguiroo]

I think you misunderstood. Questioning everything is the only way to learn, I know, but those who ask the question about who is right in regards to religion will get nothing but bullshit answers. Because there is no true answer. And all this religious arguing is pointless... all the wars started over it, all the murders, persecution, torture, and despair caused by it, is because people are too arrogant and proud to just say a simple "I don't know". No one can prove if there is or isn't a god