Published on Mar 19, 2012
"Homeschool Paradise" --An original parody of Weird Al's "Amish Paradise."
About homeschoolers. By homeschoolers. For homeschoolers. :)
Written and directed by Weird Em Willard
Produced by Seth Willard
Leah, Sarah, Johanna, Joshua, Elizabeth, Malachi, Joel, Calvin, Henry, Lydia, Trevor, Noah, Tommy, Monica, Mary Kate, Meagan, Lloyd, Seth, Ember, Sam, Nathan, Josiyah, Tammy, and Alana.
As I scour through the pages of my quantum physics book, Mathias comes over to my little study nook. But that's only natural for a homeschooler like me... You know we have a very large family. From 6 to 6 I'm studying my school ...and the rest of my family is doin' that too. Yup, I've been following this schedule so long and I can barely spare any time for this song. I'm a man of my studies, a man of discipline, with a Bible in my hand and across my face a grin. While I'm not allowed to participate in high school sports, that doesn't bother me, of course.
It's hard work and sacrifice, livin' in a homeschool paradise. We've learned a new language twice or thrice, livin' in a homeschool paradise. It's hard work and sacrifice, livin' in a homeschool paradise. While I'm not trying to entice, you could look like me in a homeschool paradise!
Of course I got a 36 in the ACT, and I'm a national champ in the spelling bee. I have a little brother, whose name is Elihu. He can spell hippopotamus and he's only 2! I always skip the prom, and girlfriends are bad. I've only got 4 friends, and they're all lads. Their names are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. And although they're brothers, they all get along. I've never punched a sister, even if she deserves it. A homeschooler in a fist fight?! Now you know that's unheard of!
When my family walks through town please don't point and stare. We're just a little socially unaware.
There's no cell phones. No iPods. No computers. No Wiis. No cool necessities. The point of this deprivation is so our lives are distraction free. We've been spending most our lives, livin' in a homeschool paradise. We're just plain and simple guys, livin' in a homeschool paradise. There's no time for sin and vice, livin' in a homeschool paradise. We don't fight, we all play nice, livin' in a homeschool paradise.
Practicing my harp, going to church everyday, studying my school, a never ending coil... Think you're really brainy? Think you're really smart? Well I know I'm a million times as astute as thou art! I'm the brilliant guy the whole world wants to be. 'Cause when you start out being homeschooled, the rest of life's a breeze. So ingenious up... And go and study. Or when your graduation comes around, you'll still be a dummy.
We've been spending most our lives, livin' in a homeschool paradise. We don't drink no beer or wine, livin' in a homeschool paradise. There's no playing cards or dice, livin' in a homeschool paradise. But I'm sure you'd find it nice livin' in a homeschool paradise.
Copyright ©2012 Ember Willard. All rights reserved. "Amish Paradise" karaoke track ©Weird Al Yankovic.
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